


Strong  Stems

by reflectionsinthewaves



Series: Gardens [2]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Doctor Who, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-01 04:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1040109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reflectionsinthewaves/pseuds/reflectionsinthewaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose Tyler has just made quite a few big changes in her life with the help of John Smith and Donna Noble. She knows that she's going to be recovering from her relationship with Jimmy Stone for quite some time, but she can't help but feel a connection with John. One that may be more than friendship.</p><p>(Sequel to A Falling Flower, this won't make much sense if you don't read that one first, but you're welcome to try if you want to.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rose isn't sure what wakes her. It's either the shuffling in the hallway or the horrible pain in her midsection. She feels a warm body beside her, and her heart skips a beat. But before she gets the chance to panic, she realizes the one lying next to her is the one she wants the most. She smiles slightly to herself.

She doesn't move. Not only because it hurts, but also because the Doctor looks like he needs sleep. She's sure she does, too, but she needs to clear her mind. Sort through things.

\------

At the hospital, the Doctor was by her side every minute. She's grateful for that. But there was one time he wasn't. She closes her eyes as she thinks of it. She was scared and hurting and all she wanted was for him to hold her hand.

But they kicked him out of the room. Said he needed to go talk with the police or something. They said it would only be five minutes. She told him it was okay, even though it wasn't.

"Miss Tyler, when was your last period?" The doctor asks her.

She doesn't know.

"Are you aware that you're pregnant?"

She's not.

She can't cry. Not now. She couldn't even answer their questions audibly, now what is she supposed to say? 

"Miss Tyler, given the trauma that you've endured, don't be surprised if something goes...wrong," he continues. "I'm only saying this to prepare you. You're in the early stages now, I'm not surprised you didn't notice. But the trauma you sustained was not purely superficial. It seems as though the object that caused these cuts was not clean. We've treated you with antibiotics, but the virus had been in your body for a while. Young fetuses do not always live after and ordeal such as this."

Good, she thinks to herself. She doesn't want that bastard tearing her apart from the inside either. But she simply nods and the Doctor walks back in.

"Other than that, Miss Tyler, you seem to be ready to go. Just rest for a week or so."

She nods again as she takes the Doctor's hand.

\------

She recalls the memory better than when it was happening. Something doesn't add up. And oh, her stomach hurts. They said they gave her antibiotics, but they shouldn't have. She knew that knife was clean. It was in the drawer with the other clean utensils.

But there was another moment. It's on the tip of her brain. They did a rape exam, too. When the Doctor and Donna were talking in the hallway, she thinks. She's not quite sure. Everything is so fuzzy. Her head hurts. 

She's had a rape exam before. That one other time Jimmy landed her in the hospital.

But this time was different. It took longer. They prodded more. They did something. What did they do? 

Everything hurts. Her head, her arms and legs, but most of all her stomach. Why does it hurt? 

She remembers one time, watching an American TV show. A medical show. A girl had gotten pregnant at a young age and wanted an abortion. The physician gave her some sort of stick thing that would make it look like a miscarriage.

Miscarriage.

Oh.

Suddenly, she's fully awake. She has to go and check. She knows she does. She doesn't want to wake the Doctor up. Not for this. She'll tell him later. After she figures everything out. 

As silently as she can, she slides out of bed and into the en suite. 

She checks, and just as she expected, she sees blood.

A lot of blood.

She's not sure what to do. Her stomach hurts and she wants to yell but she knows she can't. There's so much blood.

She decides to take a shower. All evidence will be carried away by the constant stream of water.

She turns on the water, but it's ice cold. She decides to allow herself the luxury of warm water. 

She tries to wash the blood out of her clothes but she ends up getting it all over the counter and sink, so she stashes them in a cupboard and cleans the blood with a towel before dropping it on the floor to get into the shower as fast as she can.

The warm water greets her wounds with a sting, but she doesn't care. She sits against the wall and closes her eyes. She just wants this nightmare to be over.

And then she realizes.

Some of the final bits of her nightmare are flowing down the drain right now.

She regrets it the moment she thinks it. Is that the person he turned her into? A morbid killer of innocents? Will she never have a happy thought again? 

"Rose?" A familiar voice yanks her out of her despair.

She thinks of him and smiles. She thinks of the times when they had chips and laughed about silly thing. He cares for her, and that is a happy thought.

"Rose, are you alright?"

She jumps as she realizes he's actually talking to her. "Fine, thanks! Just trying to get the smell of hospital off of me." Her lie falls a little flat at the end, but it's the best she can do. She can't let him see her like this.

She thinks she hears him sit back down on the bed. Her bleeding seems to taper off a bit. She doesn't know what's normal. She doesn't know how long this will last. She stands up and gets out of the shower, but she leaves it on. She doesn't know how quickly she'll need it again.

As quietly as she can, she finds a box of tampons and quickly inserts the largest absorbancy she can find. She rinses off quickly before turning the shower off, and wraps herself in a very large, comforting towel. 

Almost immediately, she realizes she doesn't have any clothes. It sets her over the edge and she uses the wall to support her as she slowly falls to the ground. 

"Rose, are you sure you're alright?"

She doesn't know how long she's been sitting there. "I'm fine, don't worry, I...I'm fine." She can't even come up with a lie. 

"Would you like me to go get Donna? Or anything?" He asks, sounding concerned and anxious.

"What time is it?"

"About three in the morning."

She sighs. "No, don't wake her. You should go back to sleep, too. I'm fine, really."

"Rose, you don't sound fine. Please let me help you. Or Donna, if this isn't something I should deal with..." he trails off awkwardly.

She wraps a few more towels around her, she's almost completely covered.

"You can come in, if you want. I won't flash you," she says with a slight smirk.

He opens the door cautiously, and once he sees she's covered, he walks in and sits next to her.

"I just needed a shower," she says quietly. She's not up for constructing another lie. She doesn't want to lie to him.

He looks at her like he knows something is wrong but he can't quite put his finger on it. For a moment, she's scared of what he'll think. She quickly scans the room for any signs of what just happened, but he must have noticed because his eyes lock on to the pile of bloody towels and clothes.

"Rose?" He whispers, as if he's trying not to scare her.

Yet again, she cries. She hates crying like this. Why can't she stop? He holds her close as she tries to regain composure.

"Four weeks." Her voice is barely audible. "I didn't even know until yesterday."

His eyes widen with shock, then understanding as he puts what she's saying together. "Oh, Rose..."

She shakes her head. "It's over now. The ties are broken."

He hugs her as she buries her face in his shoulder. She's so conflicted and it's killing her. She doesn't known how to handle this.

"Am I a terrible person?" She whispers into his shoulder. "Am I a terrible person for not being sad?"

"No, Rose. That is perfectly okay in a situation like this." She can tell gears are turning in his head. The facts don't add up.

"I know what you're thinking."

"Rose--"

"No. I know, it doesn't add up. Not at all. They did something at the hospital. This exam was different than the ones in the past. They gave me this--" she's choked by her own emotions and can't finish.

"Rose, I'm here, it'll be okay, I promise."

She nods and waits to gain composure again. "I only just figured it out. This thing. It makes it look like a miscarriage but it isn't. I didn't know. If I had known, maybe I would have tried to stop it, but I was so out of it and so tired I couldn't--"

"I know. It's okay. It is not your fault. I promise. None of this is your fault." He soothes as he combs his fingers lightly over her still wet hair.

"How did this happen? I don't think I said they could, but they told me after, but I don't know. I don't know." Panic sets in, though she doesn't know why. 

"Rose, Rose look at me," the Doctor says calmly as he bring her face to look at his. "We'll figure this out, I promise. Just breathe."

She nods and does so, leaning heavily against him. She wants him. She'll always want him.

She's not quite sure if she's been shivering or if he noticed that she's had her eyes closed for a while.

"Want to go back to bed?" He asks as he strokes her hand with his thumb.

She wants to sleep. She knows that much. But she doesn't want to move. If the bleeding gets too much, the shower is right there. And she's sore. Moving hurts. She shakes her head.

"I'll be right back, okay? I'm not going far," he explains as he gets up. 

She tries to watch him, but her eyes don't want to stay open. Sleep evades her without his warmth.

He comes back in with some pillows and the comforter from the bed. He wraps it around her and puts the pillow beneath her head.

She smiles a tired smile. "Thank you."

He lays down beside her and takes her hand. "Anytime."

\------

She must have fallen asleep like that because she's still wrapped in towels and a comforter when she wakes up.

"Rose? Are you alright?" She recognizes that voice. "Doctor, what are you doing?"

Rose opens her eyes to see the Doctor laying next to her on the floor and Donna standing in the doorway.

"'M fine." Rose mumbles sleepily.

"We just decided to have a change of scenery." He's much more awake than she is. Then she smiles a nice large smile. "What?" He asks with a confused smile.

"You stayed."

"Of course I stayed! I told you I wouldn't leave unless you wanted me to," he replies with a more confident smile.

"Any particular reason you lot chose the bathroom?" Donna asks, genuinely curious.

Rose looks at the Doctor who nods.

"It was an accident, really. I didn't know, till yesterday, at least. Then last night it just sort of ended. I didn't know what to do, so we had a camp out," Rose explains the best she can, though Donna looks confused. So she continues. "I...I was...pregnant. I didn't know."

Donna's eyes widen as she walks over and sits beside her. Rose does her best to continue.

"I don't know what happened. I found out yesterday at the hospital, but they used this thing. It's supposed to make it look like a miscarriage, but it's not. It's on purpose... I don't remember. I can't remember. I can't remember if I asked for it or if they just did it. I can't remember..."

Donna hugs her. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I really am."

Rose shakes her head. "Don't be. I don't know if I am." 

She takes a moment to realize what she just said. She just said she wasn't upset about her own child being miscarried. But it wasn't just her child. It was his, too. Now they have no ties. Nothing keeping them together. That's what she wanted. A clean break. 

That's what she kept saying during her tests. She remembers. She begged to get rid of all the ties.

"I asked for it, didn't I?" She asks quietly, looking at the Doctor. "I begged. I didn't know anyone was listening. They asked if that's what I really wanted. I said ye--" she can't finish before covering her mouth and slamming herself against the wall. 

"Rose! Rose, you have to understand. Not a single person blames you. You were tired and in pain and they knew some of what happened. Rose, no one blames you." He's speaking sternly but softly. 

She nods but can't stop the tears. "I killed it. And it never even got a chance."

Donna strokes her hair. "Rose, sweetie, it's okay. Keeping it would have put you in danger and you know it."

Rose nods again as she chokes out her sobs. "I promise I wouldn't've if it wasn't his. I promise."

"I know. We both know." Donna comforts.

\------

Rose isn't exactly sure how long the three of them sat in the bathroom like that. Her tears dried out after a while, and it felt as though she couldn't process anymore emotions.

"Why don't we get you back to bed, hm?" Donna suggests. 

"That sounds really nice, actually," Rose replies. 

After making sure she's securely covered, they help her off the floor. It starts off okay, but when she stands her needs go weak and her vision blurs. Everything seems to happen in slow motion as she starts to fall to the floor, only to be caught by comforting muscular arms.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rose!" He's concerned. 

"'M fine," she says as she regains herself. "Jus haven't stood up in a while."

The Doctor carries her back to the bed when a light seems to tick in his head. "When was the last time you had anything to eat, Rose?"

"I don't remember. I didn't have anything yesterday," she replies after a moment of thought. "I think it was when you and I went out for lunch."

"I'll go get you something. And some real clothes," Donna says. 

"Don't worry, I'm not hungry."

"Rose, you have to eat. At least have some tea or something."

She hesitates. She knows she will never win when she's up against Donna. "Okay. Thank you." She says with a small smile.

"How are you feeling?" The Doctor asks after a few moments.

"I'm fine," she answers reflexively.

"You know you can be honest with me, right? I only want to help you. I care about you.

She sighs. "Then honestly, I feel horrible. I really do."

"Can I help?"

"You are helping," she says with a slight smile. "You've stayed. You're taking care of me and you didn't hit me before you did it. You've been nice to me."

She watches his face fall as she speaks. "You do not deserve what happened to you, Rose. Not one bit. You deserve to relax. You deserve to feel better. There is absolutely no reason I would leave you to get through this all on your own. I care about you, and please don't ever forget that."

She smiles and takes his hand. "I care about you, too. And you'd better not forget that, or I'll tell Donna."

He looks appalled with fake shock and she laughs. 

"Thank you," she says again. "For everything."

He pulls her into another hug but separate when they see Donna in the doorway.

Rose turns immediately. "Do I smell chips?"

"You bet you smell chips!" Donna says happily. 

"I think I'm hungry now."

The Doctor and Donna chuckle as Rose starts eating. She eats a fair amount, and she fully realizes how hungry she really was.

The Doctor and Donna exchange a look. They look like they're trying to hide something from her.

"What is it?" She asks anxiously.

"Rose, no one is going to force you to do anything, but the police want to speak with you. Soon." Donna explains.

Rose stiffness at the thought. "I can't do that."

"I know it's hard, but that's the only way they'll be able to keep him behind bars. It's safer if you testify."

"He'll send one of his bastard friends after me. I know it. And this time it'll be worse. I don't want this to happen again." She panics. Her breathing intensifies and she feels as though she's got a rock in her stomach.

"I won't let that happen." The Doctor says as he rubs her back. After everything she knows she should pull away from the touch, but she doesn't want to. She wants to stay in his arms forever. "We won't let that happen."

"I just want everything to be over with." She's fighting back nearly every emotion she has. She's not sure what makes her more tired, fighting or feeling.

"I can make the call now, if you want." Donna offers.

Rose nods and watches her go. Then she turns to the Doctor. "Please don't be far. If they let you stay then stay, but if not, please don't go far." She whispers.

"I promise. Anything you need." He's sincere. He actually means it.

Rose takes his hand. There's so much she wants to say to him, so much she wants to explain, but she can't find the words. She doesn't know how to tell him.

"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"I trust you. And if what I've been through is telling me anything, it's that I shouldn't trust people. But I trust you. You and Donna are really the only ones I can say that about. I want you with me because I feel like if I can talk with anybody, it's you. But please don't feel like you have to be here. You could get up right now and walk away and I would completely understand. I'm not safe to be around. I'm surprised someone hasn't tried to pull something already. I want you here, but if you don't want to stay I understand."

He moves to look her straight on. He studies her eyes as he speaks. "I will never leave you to deal with this on your own. You can always trust me. No matter what happens I will not betray that trust. I promise. I want to be here. Do you think I would be if I didn't want to?"

"Maybe. You've always been too nice to me," she says with a small smile.

He returns the smile. "I could never be too nice to you, Rose Tyler. I honestly do care about you. Never hesitate about that. I won't judge, no matter what's wrong. You can come to me with anything."

She doesn't know how to reply, so she hugs him with all her strength. This is what it should be like. It shouldn't be like what she went through with Jimmy.

There's a knock on the door. "Rose Tyler? We're here to talk to you about Mr. Stone."

"Okay, you can come in."

"Hello, Miss Tyler. We promise what you say will only be used for the purpose of legal action."

She nods, glancing at the Doctor. He's watching her, but it's not threatening like it was with Jimmy. He's merely concerned.

"And you are?" The policeman asks the Doctor.

"Smith. John Smith. Rose is my friend. I was with her yesterday."

"He helped me." Rose adds.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to wait outside. I won't be long with Miss Tyler."

Rose stiffens and tightens her grip on the Doctor's hand. 

"Is that really necessary?" He asks.

"I'm afraid so, sir. She may feel inclined to say less with you in here."

"That won't happen." Rose pipes up.

"Sorry, Miss. It's procedure."

"Please don't go far" she whispers so only the Doctor can here.

He gives her and almost invisible nod. "I'll go get you some tea, how does that sound?"

"Thanks," she says with a smile. She watches him go and she can't help but feel the panic rise.

"Miss Tyler," the policeman starts. "How long had you been with Mr. Stone?"

"About a year and a half." She says, almost completely monotone.

"Can you tell me about the type of relationship you had? How everything started?"

"I was working at Henrik's. He was one of the regular customers. I was still in school but he convinced me to leave and go live with him."

"How long had it been since you had begun dating at that point?"

"Three or four months."

"And what did he do?"

"I was never quite sure. I'm still not quite sure. He never seems to have a schedule, but the bills always got paid. He convinced me to quit my job two months after we got the flat."

"What did you do then?"

"He was gone a lot." She finds talking about the past is much easier than a lot of things that have gone on in the past twenty four hours. "Most of the time he would leave me a list of errands to run or things to do for him. I didn't mind at the time."

"What sort of things did he have you doing for him?"

"Everything."

"Can you elaborate? Were any of these things something that raised moral question for you?"

"I bought him a lot of alcohol. Occasionally drugs. Mostly weed and occasionally cocaine."

"What was the reasoning he gave you for having you do this?"

"He said I was less likely to get caught. And if I did get caught, I could run faster."

"Did you ever use these drugs?"

"No. He got mad if I didn't go to him right away and hand it over."

"Is this when the violence began?"

"About six months into the relationship, yes."

"How did it start?"

"I was washing dishes and I dropped a plate. It broke and he got mad. He was drunk and he hit me."

"And this was the first altercation?"

"Yes."

"Was he always drunk when he used violence against you?"

"At first, yes. Then at about nine months it was constant. It didn't matter if he was sober or drunk or high."

"What kinds of injuries have you sustained?" 

"Mostly bruising. Some cuts and burns."

"Were you ever hospitalized for these injuries?"

"Yes. Just when we had been going out for a year. He wasn't very happy about that at all." 

"Was he violent toward you because of your visit to the hospital?"

"Yes. He told me I should never tell anyone about what was going on between us. He gave me a good beating for that one. And when he found out I had had a rape exam he nearly broke my arms."

"How did that happen?"

"He threw me down the stairs. No one bothered to call the police because they were too scared of him." 

The more recent the encounter, the more uneasy she gets. She feels the panic rising, but she can't let her emotions through now. She can't show the weakness that's overwhelming her.

"Miss Tyler, did James Stone ever rape you?"

She hesitates, biting back tears. "Yes."

"More than once?"

"Yes."

"Have you given consent in the past?"

"Yes, in the early days. After he got violent, I would only give consent if--" she stops. She doesn't want to do this. She wants it to be over. She wants this he'll to end.

"Go on," the officer says quietly.

"He would threaten me. A lot. I would only give consent if I couldn't take the beatings anymore."

"When was the most recent attack?" 

"He last raped me about a month ago. He's beaten me since."

"And how did that occur?"

Rose closes her eyes. She approaching being visibly distressed. "I told him I didn't want to do it that night. I was tired. He hit me. Threw me on the ground. I didn't have a choice."

"Have there been any pregnancies?"

She swallows. "Just one. It was that night. But I miscarried."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he says. She can't tell if he's sincere or not. "Can you describe the most recent attack?"

She takes a deep breath. She can feel her skin go pale and cold. She starts to shake ever so slightly.

"I got home late from work. Just by an hour or so. Jimmy hates it when I'm late. I apologized as soon as I walked in, but he wouldn't have any of it. He told me to go into the kitchen. I've found that it hurts less the faster I do what he says, so I did. He grabbed me, threw me into a chair and covered my eyes with some sort of blindfold..." She trails of, remembering. She can see every move, every word of speech play back crystal clear in her mind. 

"He opened a drawer," she continues. "He pulled out a knife. He started cutting me all over. I cried for him to stop but then he just kept going. Said I couldn't move because I didn't know where anything was. Then I smelled smoke. He started burning me. All over my arms and legs. I couldn't flinch because I didn't know where he held the knife." She working hard to control her breathing now. The panic is rising and it's almost too much. "I begged him to stop. I said I couldn't hide it if he kept going. So then he hit me. Kicked me. Oh it hurt. It hurts." She can't keep going. She can't do this.

"Miss Tyler, it's okay. We're going to make sure this all gets sorted out." The officer is less than reassuring as she goes into a full fledged panic attack. 

She can't breathe. She can't stop herself. Oh it hurts. Everything hurts. The room is spinning. She hears the yelling and she feels the pain all over again. She can't breathe. She can't breathe.

Something is wrapping around her. They feel like arms, and they're guiding her toward a warm body.

"Rose, it's okay. I promise. I won't let anything happen. Breathe, Rose. In and out. That's never going to happen again." A voice soothes. 

She listens, she recognizes it. It's the one person she wants with her. She nods but can't stop shaking. She's trying so hard to breathe but her fingers and toes have gone tingly and it scares her.

"Rose, breathe for me, okay?" The Doctor says. "Follow my lead." He takes a deep, long breath that gives way to a soft, drawn out exhale. 

She holds her breath for a moment, then mimics his motions. She's got a few breaths under her belt when he speaks again. 

"We're going to count to ten now, alright? Ten breaths. Nice and slow. One." They inhale and exhale. "Two." They repeat the cycle. 

He strokes her hair and kisses her head as the continue counting. "Nine. Ten. There you go." He says comfortingly. 

She's breathing now, but she still can't get the images out of her head. She can't stop shaking. She just wants this hell to be over. 

"Concentrate on my voice, Rose. Only on my voice. Nothing else." He whispers to her.

She squeezes his hand, trying to express that she understands.

"Remember that day we went to the planetarium? We watched the universe together and it was beautiful. Picture the stars and the vast galaxies."

She nods. She remembers laying with him and never wanting to leave that spot. She wants to explore the stars. With him.

"The planets are all there. The nebulas. It's gorgeous." He continues, holding her close. 

She calms down after a few moments, but she doesn't let go of him. He doesn't let go of her either. He's gentle, though. He's not holding her back. He's supporting her.

"How much did you hear?" She can barely hear her own voice.

"All of it." He says solemnly.

"I'm sorry."

He pulls away slightly to look at her. "Rose, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Nothing at all." When she starts to protest, he continues. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it had to go this far. I'm sorry that it had to be this bad before any justice was served. But I swear to whoever will listen that you will never have to go through that again. I promise."

She nods, fresh tears once again spilling over. "Thank you" she whispers.


	3. Chapter 3

"Doctor?" She asks. It's been a few days since everything had happened. She's felt like she's finally had time to catch her breath.

"Yes, Rose?"

"Do you remember that first time we went out for chips?"

"I could never forget when we went out for chips. It was our first date." He says with a smile, which she returns.

"They were gorgeous chips. Anyway, remember when you asked about my family?"

"You said your dad had died when you were a baby so it was just you and your mum growing up." He recalls.

"I also said that we hadn't talked in a while." She continues. She pauses. "And we still haven't."

"Why is that?" He asks, though he seems to be anticipating the answer.

"We had a sort of...falling out. Ji--" she shakes her head. "Jimmy and I dated for a year and a half. Some of which I was supposed to be in school for."

The Doctor holds her hand, urging her to continue. They've grown into the habit of spending a lot of time together. She knows she's not ready for anything serious, or even something casual, but it's really nice to have a friend. She just hopes that one day they can be more than friends.

"He didn't only convince me to not find another job after I lost the shop. I left school for him, Doctor. I never got my A levels. She wasn't happy about it, obviously." 

"When was the last time you spoke to her?"

"I tried to call her every now and again since I moved out. But about a month before I started working for you we had a fight. We haven't talked since."

He gives her hand a squeeze, holding her gaze with curious yet solemn eyes. "What was the fight about?"

Rose takes a deep breath. "I showed up at her flat one day. I hadn't done a good enough job with my makeup and she saw that I had a black eye. I didn't want to leave him because I figured that even though he might hurt me, he would keep other people from hurting me. I would endure the pain for some protection I thought I needed. She knew it was going to get worse. I didn't believe her." She goes quiet.

"Rose..."

"And now that it's all over, I'm worried about her. She could be in danger. And...and I want to apologize."

The Doctor nods. "Were you and you mum close before...it all?"

"We could get into some right awful fights, but yeah. We were. And I miss her."

He looks like he's not quite sure what to say. Like he has a lot to express, but can't find the words. Eventually he spurts out "do you want to go see her?"

Rose smiles a sad smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"Why don't you give her a call? Donna will probably be more than happy to have her over."

"She'll probably have a cow when she sees this place. It's so posh." Rose mentions with a small giggle.

"It'll be nice to finally meet her!"

Rose just laughs, and the Doctor looks utterly confused. It makes her laugh harder, and eventually he joins in. She's laughing more than she's laughed in a long time. And she likes it. She likes sharing the laughter with him. She likes sharing these happy moments with him, no matter how small or insignificant.

She can't explain it, but there's something about him. He makes her so happy. And it's different from other men she's been around, friends or lovers. When she was with a bloke called Mickey, she loved him, but it never got past affectionate. They were never intoxicated with one another. Jack acts like a brother to her. She got swept off her feet with Jimmy, but she always knew it was wrong. It felt wrong. But with the Doctor, it's different. Something about the way her hand fits in his so perfectly. Everything feels right. No underlying sinking feeling, no guilt. Whatever is happening, it's happening naturally. Like how it's supposed to.

She likes having him with her. He makes her feel better. Not just because she trusts him, but because he can make her smile, make her laugh. And honestly, that's been helping the most with coping with all that's happened. 

He's stayed the past few nights with her. They never do anything but lay there together. He chases her nightmares away. She absently wonders if other people have this. Is it just as easy for others as it is for them? 

"Do you want to call her now?" The Doctor asks gently, waking her from her thoughts.

She nods. "Can I borrow your phone? Mine is still back at the flat. Along with everything else I own." She realizes.

"Let's call your mum first. Then we can handle everything. Take it one step at a time, how about?" He suggests, handing her his mobile.

"Sounds good." She replies, dialling.

"Hello?" A woman answers.

Rose is so shocked that she can't quite find her voice to reply. 

"Hello? Who is this? If this is one of those bloody sales calls I'll take that canner and shove it ri--"

"Mum?" Rose squeaks out.

"...Rose?"

"Hi mum." She says, she happy and sad and worried and apologetic all at the same time, which probably makes her sound a little off.

"Rose! Rose, sweetheart what's happened? What's wrong?"

"It's...I ended it. With Jimmy. We're done."

"Something happened didn't it?"

"Yeah, mum."

"Rose, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I just...it just got intense." She isn't sure how to continue. She desperately wants to go to her instead of having to explain why she'll have to hike all the way across London.

"Where are you? Are you safe? I swear to god if you're still at that flat I will come and tear it down myself."

"Yeah mum, I'm safe. I want to see you though. I'm staying with a friend. Do you want to come visit?"

"When? Where? Rose I missed you!"

She gives the address and some directions, with help from the Doctor. She wasn't quite sure how they got to Donna's house.

"Who's that with you? What's that voice?"

"He's my friend, mum. I met him at work. He's been helping me out. You can meet him and Donna when you visit this afternoon."

"Alright sweetheart. I love you!"

"I love you too, mum. See you soon."

The line disconnects.

"She gonna come visit." She says with a smile, even though she knows he probably already figured that out.

The Doctor returns the smile. "I'm really glad."

"I am, too. This is just the first step, isn't it though?"

"Probably. But you don't have to do it alone."

She looks up at him and smiles, he knows what she wants to say.

\------

The doorbell rings, and rose desperately wants to get it herself, to hug her mum and say how sorry she was for everything. But when she tries to get up, she finds the Doctor stops her. "You still need to rest. Doctor's orders." He says with a wink.

Donna leads a very shocked Jackie Tyler through the halls of the house to Rose's temporary room. 

"Rose?" She peers in.

"Mum!" Rose greets her with a smile. 

"Rose!" Jackie exclaims as she rushes forward to hug her daughter. "Rose what happened. Tell me everything. What did that son of a bitch do to you? I swear to god I will shove the nearest lamppost right up his ass!"

Rose winces slightly, but she doesn't care. Being in her mum's arms is worth all the pain in the world.

"I'm fine now. Just a little banged up is all."

Jackie loosens the hug to give Rose a once over. Then she looks at the Doctor, who happens to be sitting on the bed with her. 

There is a loud pop as her cheek meets his face.

"Mum!"

"What the hell do you think you're doing in bed with my daughter when she's in this condition?!" 

"Wh-wha-what? What?" The Doctor manages to stumble out.

Donna is standing in the doorway, crying from laughter.

"Mum! This is the Doctor. He helped me out, and I would appreciate you not slapping him!"

"I'll slap him if I bloody well like to!"

"With that attitude I understand why you're so good at it." The Doctor mumbles.

"Doctor!"

"What? It was a compliment!"

Donna is nearing hyperventilation from excessive laughter. Tears continue to stream down her face. 

"Yeah well not a good one!" Rose scolds.

"The hell it wasn't! Jackie Tyler, nice to meet you, now get the hell away from my daughter!"

"Mum stop. He's okay, I promise. He helped me out. He helped me a lot. He saved me. I trust him. And not like I did with Jimmy, I legitimately trust him."

Jackie gives him a look. He doesn't seem quite sure how to look back, so he stays expressionless.

"He helped you?"

"Yeah. Things got bad. I couldn't handle everything myself. He and Donna helped me, and now I'm doing better." Rose pauses, trying to figure out exactly what to say. "Mum I'm sorry! I'm really, really sorry. Sorry I didn't believe you. Sorry I didn't listen. Sorry I didn't accept your help. I'm sorry I've been such a horrible daughter to you. I've been a pretty terrible person as a whole. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry."

Both women are fighting back tears. "It's okay sweetheart. I forgive you." Jackie whispers as she pulls her daughter in for another hug.

They sit there a while. Donna and the Doctor decide to wait in the hall. Rose doesn't want him to go, but she knows that she needs this time with her mum.

"Mum."

"I know, sweetheart I know."

"Mum, I left him. It's not like it just fizzled out. I left him, and it was messy. He's probably mad. Donna thinks they're going to be able to keep him locked up a while, but before the trial he might be let out. He's got friends, too. He knows where you live, and I really, really don't want you to be in danger." Rose spits out all at once.

Jackie smiles at her daughter. "Don't you dare worry about me right now. I can take care of myself. What I really want to know is how you ended up here like this." She says, concerned.

"I got home late. Not by much, just an hour. He beat me up pretty bad. I couldn't even do my job at work the next day. The Doctor helped me though. I was a mess, and he and Donna helped me through it. They've both been with me every step of the way. The Doctor probably stopped him from killing me. And Donna saved me from having to face him again. We had a fight at the office and the police came and everything."

Rose is trying to explain it the best she can, but ever since her adrenaline kick wore out, she's been having trouble describing the events. They replay constantly in her mind and in her nightmares with crystal clear quality, but explaining them is a different story.

"So you're out for good?" Jackie asks holding her daughter's hands.

Rose smiles slightly. "Yeah, mum."

They hug. "Now explain to me about this Doctor bloke."

"What do you wanna know?" Rose asks curiously.

"Don't play coy with me, I know that look in your eyes. You like him don't you?"

"Mum!" Rose shakes her head slightly, she knows the Doctor is probably listening.

"Well you haven't exactly been denying it, have you?"

"Mum!" 

"Fine! You can tell me all about him later. But I thought you might want to know that Jack has stopped by a few times. And Mickey's called. They were asking about you."

"I never called them back." Rose says quietly.

"No. You didn't. And you've been giving them heart attacks over it, too!"

Rose sighs. "I'll call them tonight. I promise."

"You know, you can come stay with me if you like. I won't mind at all." Jackie says earnestly.

"Thanks mum, but I'd really rather make sure he gets arrested before I go anywhere that he could track me down." Rose says apologetically.

"I understand sweetheart. Just remember to call!"

"I will, I will!"

\------

Rose and Jackie spent all afternoon together. The Doctor was there, but he also knew when to let them be. It was a really nice afternoon, and Rose is happier than she's been in a while. She likes this feeling. It's like she's getting her life back.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose walks into a shop, spirits high. She's not quite sure what she's looking for, but she enjoys browsing.

"Can I help you, miss?" Someone asks.

She doesn't turn around. "No, thanks. My friend will be in in a minute. He's good at technology." She mentions as she looks at the televisions.

"Are you sure, miss?"

"Yes, actually, I was wondering why everything you sell seems to have a danger to it? People who buy your stuff seem to be disappearing." She states as she turns around.

She stops in her tracks.

"Hello, Rosie. How lovely to see you." Jimmy says with a threatening smirk.

She tries to leave the shop but he blocks the door.

"Just let me go! I'm tired of this! I left you!"

"It's no longer my choice, Rosie. But I get to have oh so much fun with it!" He grabs her and shoves her toward a TV that begins to emit a strange colored light.

"Leave me alone!" She yells as the light from the tv lashes out at her.

She feels this awful burning pain, then nothing. She's in complete darkness. Surrounded by blackness.

"Doctor! Doctor!" She screams, but there's nothing. No echo. No sign of life or machinery or anything. Just darkness.

She can't give up. She continues to scream. She only screams that one word. "DOCTOR!"

"Rose!" She feels hands on her, pulling her back to the surface she didn't know existed. "Rose wake up!"

She opens her eyes and sits up too fast for her body's liking.

"Rose what happened? Are you alright?" The Doctor asks cupping her face in his hand.

She touches his face and nods. "Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I just-- it was just a dream. What time is it? Did I wake you up?"

"It's about two in the morning. And no, I was up. Don't need much sleep, me. Are you sure you're alright?" He's clearly concerned.

"Yeah. It was just weird. Really weird."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't remember very much of it. Jimmy put me in front of some tv and then this light came out of it. Then it was like I was no where. I was yelling for you but there wasn't an answer or an echo or anything. Just darkness."

He pulls her into a hug, and she feels better. She's been trying to spend more nights on her own because she feels bad for always waking him up with her nightmares, but she doesn't want to sleep alone. She wants him there with her all the time. She likes it when he's there.

"How did you know to come wake me up?" She asks.

"Well...when you dreamt you were screaming...you kind of were. Actually screaming that is." He tries to explain without making her upset.

Of course, it doesn't work. "Oh god I probably woke up the whole house." She puts her head in her hands.

"Don't worry, I think you woke up before it got too bad. I've been staying close by." He says holding her close.

"When will these nightmares stop?" She asks, upset. "When will it all stop?"

He gently rubs little circles on her arm with his thumb. "Soon. Everything heals eventually. Sometimes you just need a hand to hold." He smiles.

She smiles back and takes his hand.

"Do you want me to stay while you try to go back to sleep?"

"I'm done with trying to sleep. All it does is make me more exhausted than when I started." She says with a sigh.

He looks her over quickly, then suddenly lights up. "I have an idea!"

She smiles slightly. "And what's that then?"

"Come with me." He says excitedly.

She's stiff, but soon she'll get the all clear to do as she chooses without being tied to a bed. She holds on to his hand tightly as he leads her through the halls of the house.

"Close your eyes." He says. It reminds her of when they went to the planetarium to run through the universe. She does so.

He leads her around a corner and sets her against a wall. "Just rest there a moment, no peeking."

She smiles. "Hurry up then. You make me curious."

She hears him shuffling around and then he takes her hand again. "Okay, open." He says with a giddy smile.

She returns the smile with one of her brightest as she takes in the sight of a fort made of blankets and pillows surrounding the tv.

"I thought that since you didn't want to sleep, we could have a movie night. Your choice, of course." He's still smiling.

She hugs him tightly then crawls into the fort, amazed by the size and detail of it. "When did you have time to do this?"

"Like I said, I don't sleep much. And I thought at one point you might want a change of scenery."

"I love it! Thank you!"

"You are very welcome! Now go on, pick a movie. Or multiple, there's enough of them in here."

Rose carefully looked over the selection before deciding. "And I can pick any movie I want?"

"Yep! Anything you want!"

"You'll laugh when I tell you what I picked."

"I promise I will not laugh." He says solemnly.

She hands him the Pixar movie.

"You want to watch Wall-E?"

"No laughing!" She says, but she can't help but giggle a little herself.

He smiles, clearly glad to see her in a better place than when she first woke up. "Wall-E it is!"

He puts in the movie and they quickly settle into comfortable positions. As the movie goes on, Rose finds herself growing drowsy. Her head slowly sinks on to the Doctor's chest as she's lulled into a light sleep.

In this light sleep, she feels him gently kiss her hair and say so softly that it's barely audible. "I'm so glad I met you."

\------

The next morning, she wakes up to find the body next to her gone. Confused and worried, she sits up and peers through the opening of the fort.

"Spaceman, be careful alright? We don't know how everything will turn out." Rose recognizes Donna's voice.

"Donna, I can't just leave her. She likes my company, and quite frankly I don't think people other than you and I have been nice to her in quite a while."

"Like I said, we don't know how everything will turn out. It's wonderful you're there for her, it really is, but we never know what that scumbag will do."

"I can handle myself, Donna. And for heaven's sake we both know you can handle yourself. You could shout him to death."

"Oi! Watch it, Spaceman! Or I'll shout you to death!"

"Not if I don't drown you in a tangent first."

Rose hears a whack.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"For being a Spaceman!"

She hears them laugh and she chuckles to herself as well. They could have their own comedy show if they really wanted.

She smells delicious food growing closer and closer, and unsure if she was supposed to have heard that conversations pretends to have just woken up.

"Good morning, Rose! Guess what I have?" The Doctor says cheerfully.

Rose sniffs. "Is that bacon?" She says with a smile, eyeing the plate covered with a paper towel.

The Doctor beams. "And what else?"

She sniffs again, slightly closer to the plate. "Pancakes!" She decides, delighted.

"Correctomundo!"

They give each other and odd glance.

"Well, that was weird. I'm never saying that again." He says.

She bursts out laughing, which he soon joins.

"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

She's not sure how to ask what she wants to know. She knows it's against her better judgement, but she wants to go back to the planetarium with him. She wants to go before Jimmy gets out for his trial. But she also knows that Jimmy has some very loyal friends that would make life for the Doctor hell if Jimmy told them to. She's scared to go out, but she also wants to get it over with. That initial step is always the hardest, right?

She can't let anything happen to the Doctor. She cares about him too much. She doesn't want to endanger him. She would never forgive herself if he got hurt.

"Never mind" she says.

The Doctor studies her, deciding whether or not to pursue. "You sure?" He asks.

"Yep. Answered my own question." She doesn't need to lie this time.

"Well now you've got me curious."

Rose isn't sure whether or not to tell him. She really wants to, but she knows that if she brings it up, he'll want to take the risk.

"Right now I'm sort of terrified of leaving this house." She explains in a matter of fact tone. "But I know that eventually I'll have to. And that first step is always the worst, right? So I wanted to make that first step a little more pleasant. I wanted to go to the planetarium again." She says with a small smile.

He smiles in return. "Rose Tyler that is a brilliant idea!"

"But the thing is, I'm scared of going. Jimmy has a bunch of friends all over the place, and if one of them sees me with you, I'm scared that they'll come after you."

"Rose, you do not have to worry about me. I promise. I'll be okay. We'll be okay." He says, taking her hand.

She nods. "I want to go. But I don't want to go if there's any chance of running into him. I'm not ready for that big of a step yet."

"Don't worry, he's locked away for a while. At least until the trial."

"When's that gonna be?"

"I would imagine a week or so from now." He says, scratching the back of his neck.

She nods. She really wants to go, but she doesn't want to endanger him. She doesn't want him hurt.

"You know, Rose, we could go if you wanted. I promise nothing bad will happen." He says earnestly.

"How do you know?"

"Well, for one I'll be there." He gives her a wink. She smiles. "And if that's not enough, we can always bring Donna and let her loose."

Rose laughs. "She'd be able to fight off a werewolf with her bare hands."

"Nah. Now your mother on the other hand..."

She smacks him, chuckling to herself. "Now that would be a sight."

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Rose decides. "You sure nothing bad is gonna happen? I would never forgive myself if you got hurt."

"I absolutely promise."

"And we can go back to the planetarium?"

He smiles. "I can't think of any better place."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I completely forgot about the fact that I had more material written until just now, so sorry for all of you that wanted to read it and I've been MIA. I think I have a few more chapters written, and plan on uploading them. Also, since i haven't read this story since probably December, I will reread it and then hopefully I will be able to write more and finish the story. I also believe that my writing skills have improved, but as I've only written nonfiction recently, that could completely not be the case. Again, this chapter, and probably the next few are completely unedited, so please forgive typos and basic grammar errors, I promise I am actually a competent writer. I would give you a summary for this chapter, but in all honesty I completely forget where I left off and where it is going. I will reread this and the original A Falling Flower tonight, perhaps with more updates to come more regularly as soon as possible. Please enjoy!

It's been a week since everything happened. One very, very long week. But Rose has been given the all clear. She can do essentially whatever she wants. She wants to go to the planetarium. She does. But she's so scared at the same time. She's terrified something will happen. Absolutely terrified.

She wants to Doctor or Donna or someone other than her to suggest it. She doesn't want to feel stupid for suggesting it herself and not being able to go through with it. 

Donna and the Doctor would probably never do that. They would never suggest it because she can tell they're scared of pushing her too hard. They're treating her too carefully. It's a bit too much, but she loves them dearly for it.

Loves. 

She's been too scared to admit it. Too scared that it was just circumstantial. Too scared that it wouldn't last or that it wasn't real.

She loves him.

She just doesn't know in what way yet. Though she has a pretty good idea.

She starts dropping hints throughout the day that might egg the Doctor or Donna into suggesting a small trip.

After only a few hours, one of them takes.

"Rose? Did you still want to go to the planetarium?" The Doctor asks cautiously, as if she'll break down and cry. 

She doesn't blame him for that. She's been doing that a lot lately.

"I did, yeah." She says with a smile to assure him that she will not burst into tears.

"Would you like to go today? We can celebrate the fact that you've been given the all clear." He's still cautious, but less so.

She smiles wider. "Yeah." She thinks for a moment. "Let's go now."

"Why now?" He's confused.

"Because if we go now I won't have time to think about it and I won't be as scared." She replies, remembering when she had all day to think about leaving Jimmy.

"Right. Well then! Alllons-y!" He says with a smile as he takes her hand.

They reach the front door and she hesitates. She doesn't expect him to notice, but he does. 

"You ready?" He asks.

She nods. "Now or never, right?"

She squeezes his hand as they step outside.

Even though it's only been a week, she feels like she's feeling the sun for the first time. Like she's breathing fresh air for the first time in years. She loves it. But she can't shake that underlying fear in the out of her stomach. 

"How far is it?" She asks. She never did get a sense of where Donna's house was.

"Walking distance. Probably about the same distance it was from the office, just a different direction." He says, looking around.

She takes his hand. "Come on then. I don't want to wait all day." She says with a smile.

They walk. Her fear is growing and she can't stop it. She's not sure whether to stand closer to him or farther away. Farther would keep him safer, but closer makes her feel better. She decides only to squeeze his hand and keep her respectable distance.

The sky suddenly gets very dark, and the wind picks up. She looks at the Doctor, who seems to be studying it. 

"Storm's rolling in." She observes.

The wind gets stronger. She huddles closer to him partially for mere shelter. Though, with him being so skinny, it doesn't help that much.

CRACK! 

The thunder is so loud and sudden that she nearly jumps a foot in the air.

The Doctor stops and looks into her eyes. "Run."

And they do. Oh they run. They run through the pounding rain and the lightning and the thunder. They run through the wind and the storm, dodging people and garbage cans and obstacles all over.

They reach the planetarium laughing, high on adrenaline.

"You okay?" He asks.

She smiles, still laughing. "Yeah. You?"

He smiles that smile that she loves so much. "Oh, Rose Tyler, I am brilliant."

She laughs and takes her place in the center of the room.

"So Rose Tyler. Where to?"

"Surprise me!"

She hears the flip of some switches. "Here we are then! The Milky Way galaxy, right at your fingertips!" He says.

"You think you're so impressive." She knows he can hear the smile on her face.

"You haven't seen anything yet!" He flips some more switches and the entire done lights up. "This! This is a supernova you're looking at! We're burning up a sun together."

"Come on then! It won't do you any good standing over there!" She holds out her hand.

He quickly comes over to take it, and they lie down much like they did when he first brought her here. Only now they're closer.

They watch the supernova for a while in a blissful silence, other than when the Doctor decides something needs to be explained. But she doesn't mind that. She actually likes it quite a bit.

"Doctor?" She asks after some moments of silence.

"Yes, Rose?"

She has to gather up the courage to ask. What if she doesn't like the answer? She doesn't think she could handle everything if she lost her best friend right now. But what if she does like the answer? 

She takes a deep breath. "Why have you stayed with me so much? Believe me, I'm glad you have, but why? Any other person would have dropped me at Donna's and maybe called once or twice to check in. But you stayed." She thinks for a moment. "To be quite honest I don't think I've even seen you go home." 

"You said you didn't want me to leave. I didn't want to leave either. So I stayed. And Donna's a good mate. She doesn't mind." He says without much of a thought.

"But don't you find it odd that coming out of what I just came out of, I want you with me?"

"Should I be finding it odd?" He asks. Does he sound worried? 

She takes a deep breath. It's now or never. She'll still have Donna if this goes awry.

"It's just that..." She struggles for the words. "It's just that with you...It's okay. Everything is okay. I'm happy when I'm with you. I don't get that terrible feeling when you come around. The men in my life have taken months and years to get to that point. But I've barely known you for a few months and it's like I have no reason to be uncomfortable around you."

She's getting nervous. She doesn't know how to go on. But she can't stop herself from talking. And she thought he was the one with the gab.

"Doctor, I've never been uncomfortable around you. I've never wanted to hide anything from you. And every part of reason tells me that I should be pushing you away. But I don't want to do that. If anything I want you closer." 

She's shaking a little now. Not shaking like before when she was terrified, but shaking with anticipation. With nervousness. With adrenaline.

"Rose, I want to be here for you. I honestly do. I don't want to leave you. Not one bit. So I won't leave you."

"But you said yourself that you don't do domestic. You don't hang around and take care of people like me."

"People like you?"

She nods. "People that may not be a quick fix. And all of this has seemed pretty domestic to me."

"Rose," he starts, but he cuts himself off, trying to find the right words. "Rose, everything that I've done I've done because I absolutely want to. I care for you more than you know. I don't want to leave you."

She looks at him, unsure of how to respond.

"Rose, for you, domestic is just fine with me. It's just like a new adventure. It's something I haven't tried before and now I'm getting to learn about it."

"But what happens when you want to move on? I may be interesting now, but what about after the majority of this is over? I can tell you right now, Doctor, it's going to be a long time before I want to experience all the things that I know you want to experience."

"I don't want to move on."

Her mouth drops open. "What?"

"I don't want to move on. I like my life now. Obviously I hate the fact that you've had to go through what you did, and I swear I will kill that slimy bastard if he ever so much as comes within fifty feet of you, but you've made my life better. You made it better the moment you walked into that office."

She wants to tell him. Oh she wants to tell him so bad. But she can't. Not yet.

"I think you're missing the point." She protests. "Don't stick around with me and invest your time in me because you feel obligated. I'm not worth it."

"Rose Tyler you are more worth it than anyone one else on earth!"

She looks at him once more.

"Rose, you are fantastic. You're brilliant. And you're my friend. I want to spend time with you. You make my days better. You have to trust me on this.

She nods.

"And don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're not worth it. You're worth more than anything."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I had a slight formatting error with the previous chapter, and apparently I can't go back and edit it with my phone, so you all will get a chapter and some extra paragraphs within hours of each other. This small bit is supposed to be connected to Chapter And it's easier just to upload it as it's separate chapter. Sorry for any confusion!

"What?" She asks in disbelief.

"Rose, I care about you. That's obvious because if I didn't then I wouldn't be here. I care about you a lot and I never want to see anything hurt you. I like spending time with you. I really like it. And I wouldn't trade the time we spend together for anything."

"But why?"

"Because I changed after I met you. I was miserable all the time, but then you were in that office on your first day and you made me smile. You made me feel like maybe life isn't horrible. You made it better."

All she can do is stare at him with her mouth hanging open.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the scrappy editing and confusion I probably caused you all. I finally figured out how to edit things, so if you see any major Mess ups that I missed, feel free to point them out!

What? She made an impression on him? She makes him happy? No. That can't be right. It can't be.

She's completely taken by him. If anything, he should be growing less interested in her by the second. She wants him and he's not supposed to want her.

Oh, but he does. She tries to pin it down, but no matter what she does she can't get that stupid heart of hers to stop flying out of her chest. She couldn't wipe that smile off her face with a vacuum cleaner.

"I did that?" She asks quietly, she'd be surprised if he could understand her through that idiotic smile.

He returns her smile, matching it exactly. "You did."

She wants to kiss him.

She takes his hand and squeezes it.

"You know, for the record, you made me happy, too. You still do."

He smiles wider. "I was hoping that that would be the case."

"It is. I don't know what it is, but no matter what I'm comfortable around you. Like I want to share everything with you." She's choosing her words carefully as to not reveal too much. "Throughout my whole life, especially with Jimmy, it's like I had sort of a gut feeling. Pretty much every man I met would cause my stomach to drop. Like I knew it wasn't right. That never happened with you. I trusted you with everything right off the bat."

"I'm glad you did." He says, appearing to think of what might have happened otherwise.

"I still trust you. With everything. And I know I shouldn't, but I can't stop. I want you with me all the time. I can't help it."

He gives her hand a light squeeze. "I'm glad." He says. "I don't want to not be with you."

She smiles, unsure of what to say. Only a moment or two go by before she decides to ask him.

"What was Donna telling you to be careful about?"

He looks into her eyes for a moment. "You."

"What about me?" Rose asks, knowing where this might lead.

"I like you. She doesn't want me to scare you."

Rose knows that she shouldn't, but she can't help but laugh.

"What?" He asks with a smile.

"You've spent multiple nights in bed with me, haven't left my side, made me a pillow fort when I couldn't sleep and slept on the bathroom floor with me. None of which I ever objected to. And she thinks that I don't like you back?"

He joins her laughter. "That is an excellent point."

"Sometimes someone just needs to point out the obvious. Just like it's obvious that that was not the only thing she was referring to." Rose says solemnly.

He takes a deep breath. "You're right." He takes a moment to decide what to say next. "Rose, I want you to know that I would never let anything happen. But with Jimmy, we don't know what's going to happen yet. The police have three testimonies, but they're having trouble getting other evidence other than medical records and the damage in the office. We don't know exactly how long he can be locked up for." He holds her close.

She lays her head on his chest and takes a deep breath. "I always knew it would come back to bite me in the butt. I finally talk to someone and they can't get evidence."

"Rose, it's good you talked to someone. You witnessed it firsthand-hand and had physical proof."

She sighs. "I know, but still. With what they have now, I can't imagine him being gone very long."

The Doctor puts his arm around her. 

Neither of them seem quite sure what to say. She knows that this could potentially go very badly. But she doesn't want him to go. She wants him with her.

They lie there for a long time. Watching a star die and many other things begin.

"Doctor." She says, not like she usually does.

"Yes?" He asks. He sounds worried.

She takes a deep breath. "I think..." she's unsure of how to word it. "I just...I don't want you getting hurt. I care for you way too much for that to happen."

Loves him too much, is more like it.

He opens his mouth to protest, but she continues. 

"I want you with me. I always do. I always have. But I would never ever forgive myself if something happened to you. I want to be with you, but if that means that you'll get hurt, I don't want to risk it." She's quiet as she speaks.

"Rose, please do not worry about me. You're worth it all."

"I don't want to risk it."

"And I don't want to risk you getting hurt without someone to lean on."

She looks up at him, she's biting back tears and she hates it. She thought her days of crying were over.

"All of the things that you're thinking in order to protect me, I'm thinking of for you." He says. "I don't want to leave you because I don't want you getting hurt. Also because I'm extremely fond of you."

She laughs, then grows sober. "You're sure about this?"

He nods. "I've never been more sure in my life.

She hugs him. Tight. And he hugs her right back.

\------

They spend the rest of the afternoon alone in the planetarium. They laugh and talk of random things. For once, Rose feels as though her life is getting back to normal.

He takes her hand and points various things out to her, rambling on about physics and formulas that she doesn't understand. In all honesty, she just enjoys hearing him talk of things he's passionate about. She knows he enjoys Rasilon Industries as much as he can, but he never lights up as much as when he talks of the stars and traveling. He's meant to be on the move. They both know it.

Eventually the conversation drifts into travel. He talks about the places he's been and the people he's seen. He knows how to tell a story.

"You know, you could come with me." He says, watching her.

"Where?" She asks with a gentle smile.

"Anywhere. Your choice. It'll be an adventure for both of us. Someplace new, someplace old, someplace random. Anywhere."

She smiles a wide smile. "You really want me to come?"

"Oh, I'd love you to come!"

"Okay!" She smiles and pokes her tongue out between her teeth. She picked up on that a long time ago, how he seems to jump with happiness every time she shows her tongue.

"When can we go?" She asks. 

"Soon, hopefully. Hopefully very very soon."

She knows that she shouldn't run away from her problems, but what's wrong with a holiday? She's always wanted to travel. She's just never had the opportunity.

"You let me know as soon as you can. I'll be right there with you. No one should have to be alone."

He takes her hand. "You shouldn't have to be alone either."

And that's when she understands. He wants to do for her exactly what she wants to do for him. She wants to be the hand for him to hold when things get tough. And right now, that's just what he's doing for her.

"I wish we could stay in here forever. It feels like everything's at our fingertips." She says, almost like she's talking to herself.

"There used to be living quarters somewhere in here, actually. I have no idea where, but at the height of its productivity the professors and physicists and all lived here for months on end doing their research. From what I hear it was quite nice."

"I wouldn't mind living here. Even if we couldn't travel, we could at least do a little bit of exploring in here."

He smiles. "That we could. But for now, it may be time to go," he says.

She looks at her watch. "Do you think Donna has sent the navy out on us yet?"

"We may need to rush just to be sure."

She takes his hand as they get up. "Alright, come on then! I'm not going to wait around all day!"

They run outside to find a dark sky illuminated only by street lights and cars and neon signs. Everything is wet from the rain, but people seems to be outside anyway. It's unusually crowded.

He holds her hand tightly as they rush through the crowds. For the first time, she's not terrified. She's scared, of course, but the Doctor is there, and he's not going to let go.

Until he does.

"Rose!"


	8. Chapter 8

It all happens so fast that she can't quite process it. She hears some sort of shot and she's being yanked from the Doctor's hand and she can't control it.

"Doctor!" She yells, fear growing inside her. 

"Rose!" He yells back, sounding just as panicked as she is.

People start running and screaming and she's carried away. She can't see him. She's alone. She doesn't know what to do. She scrambles to get back to the place the last saw the Doctor, but she's swimming against the current.

She's rammed in the back and she starts to fall forward. No, no, no. This can't be happening.

"Rose! Don't worry, I've gotcha!" 

She looks up. That's not the Doctor's.

"Jack!" She exclaims, relieved.

"Heya, Rose! Come on, let's get out of here." He says, helping her regain her footing and gently leading her through the crowds.

"Where's the Doc--John?" She asks nervously. Jack is wonderful to her, but she heard a shot. She can't leave the Doctor.

"Who?" Jack asks, he's interested. 

"He's a...friend." She sputters out. The crowds are a lot. She's starting to shake. She hates herself for this. She can't get herself under control. She used to be so good at control. Now she's a wreck.

Jack must have noticed. The amazing thing about Jack is that he's always there for his friends. He's always able to concentrate on the ones he cares about.

"Rose, don't worry. We'll find him." He says, shoving the crowds aside without a thought.

It isn't long before they're away from the major parts of the crowds. 

She stands up on a small wall bordering some plants in order to see.

"Doctor!" She yells.

Jack is right by her side looking. "What does he look like?"

"He's tall. Brown hair, long coat. Trainers." She says with the smallest smile.

"Doctor!" She yells again, but this time she sees a head turn around. "That's him! Doctor!" 

He starts making his way through the crowds toward her. She wants to desperately to go to him, but the crowd does scare her. And Jack is on the wall with her. She's got two people who care about her.

"Rose!" The Doctor yells as he makes his way over to them.

She hugs him. It's almost like an instinct. She wants to be close to him.

The hug ends all too soon. "Who's this then?" The Doctor asks.

"Jack. Jack Harkness." Jack replies with a winning smile.

"Doctor, meet a very dear friend of mine, Jack." Rose smiles.

"Right then. Pleasure to meet you, Jack!" The Doctor flashes a smile.

Then it hits her. She's seeing Jack. Jack, whom she has not seen in months. "Jack!" She squeals as she hugs him. "I missed you!"

"I missed you, too!" He says as he returns the hug. "How are you? Are you okay?" He asks, checking her over.

"Jack, it's all over. Everything. Not everything, but mostly everything. I broke it off." Rose says almost hesitantly. She's happy as can be about it, but she's still nervous about the future.

"What happened?" Jack asks.

Rose turns to the Doctor. "Think Donna would mind if Jack came around for a bit?"

The Doctor smiles. "Oh, I don't think she would mind at all."

Rose laughs. "Alright, come with us. We'll tell you everything."

\------

"What happened back there?" Rose asks on their way back to Donna's.

"Some sort of a rally. I was only there because I was walking by on got curious." Jack explains. "Good thing I was, too!" He adds a wink and Rose smacks him.

"Shut up!" She laughs.

"Have you told Mickey?" Jack asks.

"No. Not yet. Thing is, I'm scared of him coming after you guys. The less people involved the better." Rose explains.

"Rose, we all got involved a long time ago. It's okay to have us around if you want us."

The Doctor takes her hand and nods. "See? He thinks so, too."

She sighs. "Alright. I'll call him. Figure I might as well tell both of you what happened at the same time, yeah?"

The Doctor takes her hand.

\------

Rose takes a deep breath. She knew everything would be a mess when it finally ended, not matter what the circumstances. But this is a lot. She's glad that she has Jack back in her life and excited that she'll hopefully get to see Mickey again, but this is a lot to sort through. She feels like she hasn't even started.

She dials Mickey's number. It rings.

"Hello?"

"Mickey?"

"Rose?"

She can't help but smile. "Hi there!"

"Rose! How are you?" He sounds happy.

"I'm alright. I was wondering if you wanted to come around? We can talk. Jack's here, too."

"Yeah! That sounds good. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. We'll talk when you come over, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And I'm not at the flat. I'm staying with a friend. Her name is Donna."

He pauses. "I'm glad you're not at the flat."

She exhales. "I am too."

"See ya soon, Rose."

She smiles. "Yeah, see ya."

The line disconnects and she wanders toward the kitchen.

"So how exactly did you get involved in all of this?" Jack asks.

She doesn't enter.

"Rose is my friend. She was in trouble, so I helped. I wasn't going to just leave her." The Doctor explains.

"But why have you stayed around?"

"I care about her. Well, I really care about her. Quite a bit, actually."

"And how is it that she hasn't gotten you to stop involving yourself for your own good? She's smart and she has people's best intentions heart, but she doesn't like to accept the help." She thinks she can hear a hint of a smile in Jack's voice.

"I don't know. We came together at the point in time when we both most needed a hand to hold."

Rose smiles to herself. It was true. She thanks the universe every day for having met the Doctor. 

"Look, you helped her. And you've stuck around for her. That puts you high on my list."

The Doctor laughs. "Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah." She knows Jack is using his flirtatious smile, so she decides to walk in.

"Mickey's coming over." She can't help but smile.

Both the Doctor and Jack smile.

\------

There's a knock on the door and Rose stands by the handle, hesitating to open it. Having the three men in the world that she actually trusts in the same room all at the same time is wonderfully and horrifying at the same time. She cares about them all in different ways, and she's scared that they won't care for each other. She knows that the third man about to be added to the mix will shake things up the most.

She opens the door.

There Mickey stands, eyes wide and shining. He looks like he's staring at a ghost.

"Rose? What happened?" Mickey asks.

Before she can open her mouth to answer, she's enveloped in a hug. At first it scares her and she jumps, but it's barely a second before she relaxes and returns the embrace.

When they pull back they check each other over.

"You alright?" She asks.

"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?"

She looks at him. She knows he knows what she's referring to.

"Oh. Right. I'm fine, I promise. What about you, though?"

"I'm okay. Just a little shaken up." Mickey gives her an uncertain look so she continues. "Come into the kitchen. We'll talk."

Rose leads Mickey through the hallway and around the corner, only to run into the chest of the Doctor.

She jumps slightly at the surprise, but is immediately relaxed once she realizes who he is. 

Mickey doesn't notice her relax, and he instinctively reaches out for her to pull her back.

The Doctor mirrors this reaction, causing both men to pause.

"Who are you then?" Mickey asks with a slight menacing undertone.

"John Smith. The Doctor, actually. And who are you?"

"Mickey Smith. Just Mickey Smith."

There's an awkward silence when Rose breaks through.

"Blimey, you can smell the testosterone."

All three men look at her and smile. It makes her feel good. It makes her feel like she's growing back into her body.

"So what's going on?" Mickey asks.

Rose looks at the Doctor and Jack, both of whom nod. "I left Jimmy."

"What?"

"Well I kind of left him. Things got bad. I was sort of forced out of it by my own body. But it's over between us."

Mickey looks at her, scanning for any obvious injuries. "What happened?"

She takes a deep breath. The Doctor takes her hand. She launches into the story. 

She's very careful of how she tells it. She's not too graphic, but she gets the point across. She can't quite be completely open with them. Especially Mickey. Jack has a good eye for the big picture, but Mickey can't seem to look past his own nose. That was always their major problem. She could never tell him the truth. He would either over react or under react, and he's done that all her life. Even when they were childhood friends.

Jack listens intently, like he's trying to pick up on Rose's undertones of truth.

Mickey stares at the Doctor the whole time.

"So why is he still here?" Mickey asks sounding almost angry.

"Mickey, he's my friend. I'm comfortable with him and that's important."

"So you're not comfortable with me then?"

"No, Mickey, that's not what I meant."

"Naw, I see how it is. I've been here for you for years, and now some fancy man in a suit comes and whisks you away!"

"Mickey!" Rose shouts. "Shut up! That's not what I meant!"

Everyone is silent.

"Mickey, you and I have always been mates. I talk to you. I trust you. But in that moment and in all the moments from then till now, the Doctor and Donna have been my main support."

"Rose, he could have killed you! And you didn't bother calling either one of us?"

"Excuse me if I didn't want to talk about my abusive ex trying to kill me to every person that I know minutes after it happened!"

The room goes quiet. Mickey stops. The Doctor moves toward Rose. Jack gives Mickey a blood freezing look, but he doesn't notice. He's locked on to the big brown eyes staring back at him.

She's not sure what she's feeling. Anger, for sure. Pain, as well. But there's another feeling slowly creeping into the mix.

Realization.

She now completely understands why they never worked. They were never on the same wavelength. They had no way to tune into each other. He cared for her, and she for him. There was no doubt of that. But they never could show it in the way that the other needed.

Sadness hits her next. They're mates, but she knows it won't be the same anymore. They've been through fights like this before, but nothing has ever made her cross the line into realization.

Exhaustion is the last to hit her. She feels like her head is swimming. She moves toward the table to sit. The Doctor guides her to a seat.

She doesn't take her eyes off Mickey. She wants to kick him out. She wants him to be away from her. She doesn't want to see him for a very long time. Yet, there's still a bit in the back of her brain that wants to hug him. She will never stop caring for Mickey.

He takes a step closer and both the Doctor and Jack seem to tense slightly.

"Rose" he starts.

Rose shakes her head.

"Rose, I'm sorry."

She looks away shaking her head again.

He sits by her. "Rose, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be like that."

She takes a deep breath. "Mickey, it's okay. It's not something we come across every day, yeah? Just leave it."

She wants him to leave. She doesn't have the heart to tell him.

They all sit a while, waiting for the tension to resolve. It doesn't.

The silence is broken by Jack's phone. Rose jumps a foot in the air but regains herself quickly, hoping they won't notice.

The Doctor does. He puts a hand on her arm.

"Hello? Yeah. I'm be right there."

He gets up and kisses Rose on the head. "Sorry, Rose, but I have to go to work. Call me if you need me, okay?"

Rose nods. "Thanks, Jack."

Soon after he leaves the room, Mickey interjects. "I should probably go, too."

Rose hugs him tightly. "I'm sorry."

He returns the hug. "I am, too."

They disband and he walks out the door.

She's in the process of figuring out what to think. She feels as though her brain has gone to mush.

"Where does Jack work?" The Doctor asks suddenly.

She's slightly startled by the question. "I don't know, really. Some place called Torchwood or something. I think they do investigating of some kind."

The Doctor nods.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter, so I really hope you all enjoy reading it! I've got plans for more to come!

Rose finds herself laying on her bed staring at the ceiling. She's unsure of her life right now. She's unsure of where to go and what to do and how to go about it. She's got a job and an income, albeit a small one. She could get her own flat. But, of course, she's not at all comfortable with living alone right now. 

The fact of the matter is that she feels so incredibly lost that it's painful. She's been staying with Donna for a month now, and the guilt is almost becoming unbearable. She never meant to be a burden. And despite the fact that everyone tells her she isn't, she knows she is. She feels the weight crushing her as if Jimmy had just dropped a cinder block on her chest. 

She sits up and takes a deep breath. The overall feeling of helplessness has been getting worse lately. She knows she can only survive it for so long. 

She hears a knock on her door. 

"Rose?" The voice inquires gently. She smiles at the familiarity.

"Yes, Doctor?" She replies, walking toward the door. 

"Ready to go?"

"Yep! Been ready for a while" she replies with a smile.

He takes her hand as they set off on their walk. She's still scared of going out, but they both agreed that short walks around the neighborhood might be good. She'd get to see the sun and he wouldn't be stuck in one place all day.

They hold hands as they walk. It's not romantic or anything, although she wishes it would be. It started when she seemed less panicked than when he wasn't touching her. They both went for it.

She so badly wishes it could be romantic. She can't do it yet. She wants to, but she can't. But then again, what's stopping her? She knows she feels comfortable with him. She loves him. She thinks he likes her. She wants to be with him. 

Logic. Logic is stopping her. Deep down, Rose knows it's not a good idea for her to get involved with anyone.

That doesn't make this any less painful.

"Rose?"

She snaps out of her reverie. "Sorry what?"

"Are you alright?" He asks gingerly.

"Yeah, m'okay. Just thinking, you know."

"Anything you feel like sharing?"

"If I could put it into words I would" she replies truthfully. 

He squeezes her hand. They've become comfortable in silence. Not that they were ever uncomfortable.

"Rose, you know how Jimmy was supposed to go on trial a couple weeks ago but it got delayed?" The Doctor is obviously uneasy. 

She stiffens. "Yeah."

"Would you be okay with testifying again?" He asks it, although is more of a warning than a question.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

He sighs. "No, not really. Not if you want him to get the maximum sentence."

She closes her eyes. "I never want to see him again."

He pulls her in for a hug. She's so tired.

\------

Rose lies awake that night thinking. Her mind refuses to slow down. The weight is crushing her. She's scared. She's alone and scared.

Well, alone at the moment. If she yelled she wouldn't have to be alone. Not if she didn't want to.

But that's part of the problem.

She stayed with Jimmy because she liked it when he cared for her. She liked the feeling of being able to relax and have someone to lean on. Although those moments were few and far between with Jimmy, they were part of the reason why she stayed.

What if she just loves the Doctor for the same reason? What if she's only attaching herself to him because he cares for her? Because he hasn't left her side? 

She closes her eyes as a tear rolls down her cheek. 

What if he turns out to be just like Jimmy? 

She feels the panic rise from her stomach to her chest. Her breathing accelerates and her skin becomes cold and clammy. 

She opens her eyes quickly as the flashbacks of Jimmy resurface. She looks out the window, attempting to calm herself. Dawn is breaking.

She can't do this. She can't be here. She's mooched for too long. She can't keep doing this to Donna and the Doctor. She can't let her love for the Doctor and the fact that she likes having him by her side keep her from doing what needs to be done.

They're all better off without her anyway.

With tingly, cold hands Rose packs the few belongings she has with her. She packs her phone, but leaves it off.

She got no money, no A levels, and soon to be no job. She's completely starting over.

She steps outside just as light fills the sky. She's outside.

Something can happen. Someone can find her.

But she can't go back in.

She sprints. 

She runs as far as she can before her panicked breaths force her to give out. 

She doesn't know where she's going, and she doesn't know where she is.

Taking a deep breath, she spends what little money she has on a ticket. It's taking her to the coast. Far away.

She thinks she blacks out for most of the trip. She was panicking when she got on, and the next thing she remembers is being jolted awake by the train stopping.

It's her stop.

She walks for a long time. Finally she decides that she needs to take a break. 

She stands on the beach, looking at the water.

She misses him. She wants him there. She feels as though her heart is being ripped from her chest.

She hates herself for it. This is for everyone's own good. She can't be there anymore. Everyone is better off without her.

She stands there silently crying for what seems like forever and a second simultaneously. She's lost in time and can't even realize it.

She closes her eyes and imagines him there with her. His warmth as he stands close and takes her hand. 

Suddenly, Rose realizes she isn't alone.

Although there are only a few, the volume of the conversations of those around her becomes unbearable very quickly. This was a terrible idea. She should never have done this. Panic rises within her. She can't. She can't.

She runs. 

She runs down the beach until eventually she is out of sight from everyone. They could easier track her, she left foot prints. But she can't run anymore. She can't move. She can't breathe.

She hyperventilates as she stands by the water. She's freezing, but she's unsure if it's from the panic attack she's in the midst of or the fact that she's on a freezing beach.

She yells her sobs out to the ocean. She can't feel her hands or her feet. She's losing her sight.

No.

No. She can't do this. Not outside. She can't lose it outside. She can't lose control outside. 

This is it.

This will cause her death.

Does it really even matter at this point? 

Gentle hands guide her down to the ground.

"Rose, Rose, it's okay. Just breathe. In and out."

She knows that voice.

Panic rises again as she realizes that she has to keep that voice safe, that she can't succumb to it.

"Rose!" The voice sounds scared. Very scared. Terrified.

She feels arms around her and as much as she wants to get away, she can't help relaxing into them. The warmth is welcoming and soothing. She should cut herself off. But she doesn't want to.

"Doctor?" Rose croaks out as she feels herself losing consciousness.

"Rose, it's okay! I'm here. I promise."

"Please don't leave."

"Never ever." He kisses her head.

Everything goes dark.

\------

The cool wind on her face eventually brings her back. Only now she's not as cold. She's wrapped in a large brown coat. She's being held by someone.

She moves to sit up, but someone holds her back. "Hang on there. Carefully, slowly." He soothes.

Rose looks at the Doctor and her heart flops. She has so many emotions happening all at once. She's not sure how to process them.

"Are you okay?" The Doctor asks. Yes concerned.

Rose shakes her head gently, pulling herself out of her mind. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay." 

She slowly stands up, careful not to seem as off as she feels. 

He watches her carefully, standing with her.

She knows she should just walk away. But curiosity gets the better of her.

"Where are we anyway?"

He looks perplexed. "You don't know?"

She shakes her head. "I didn't really pay attention. I just started going and I didn't really care where I ended up."

He takes her hand. She initially tries to pull away, but she wants it too badly. She squeezes it tightly. Who knows when she'll get to hold his hand again? 

"We're at Bad Wolf Bay, Rose." He says cautiously.

She nods. "Isn't that in Norway?" She asks, somewhat shocked. 

He clenched his jaw. "Yes." Is he mad? 

She sighs. "Look, Doctor, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to come get me. I didn't mean for anyone to find me. I just needed to get out."

"Rose, do you have any idea what it was like trying to find you?" He does sound angry.

"Doctor, I'm sorry! What else was I supposed to do?" She's exasperated.

"What do you mean what else were you supposed to do? Stay where you were? Explain to us what was going on? Left a note?" He's almost shouting now.

"I had to get out! I can't keep mooching off of Donna! And I can't get involved like I did before! I can't go back. It's all over the place! He's all over the place!" She's the one shouting now.

"Rose, what do you think we're trying to do for you? Ripen you up just so he can take you away and be at the crap out of you again? Let me tell you something, Rose, he will never, ever, ever touch a hair on your body again!" He's shouting. His voice is severe.

She's losing it. "You think I don't know that?? Do you think I would willingly leave you and Donna? The only people that have been there for me no matter what I say? Do you think it was easy for me to leave you?" She's screaming at him now. He seems so have softened a bit, but she can't stop herself.

"I'll tell you what, John, leaving you with the intention of not seeing you again still makes me panic! I hate not being with you, but you know what? I can't even trust myself anymore! I want to be with you! I really want to be with you! But I fucking can't because I can't trust myself. I got myself into this mess the last time, and no matter how inexplicably wonderful you are, I can't seem to tell myself that I like you because you're genuine and not because you've taken care of me. I can't fucking get a grip on my life anymore and it's tearing me to shreds. I love you but I feel like I can't let myself do that!" 

Tears are streaming down her face. She stops in her tracks as she listens to the words that just left her mouth.

I love you.

She stares at him wide eyed for a moment before turning and walking away. She's not sure where she's going, but it's away from him. Away from the man she loves. Away from the only glimpse of true happiness that she's had in a very long time.

She doesn't get very far before she hears footprints behind her and feels a hand reaching for hers. She turns around, and with the most gentle passion she's ever experienced, he kisses her.

She should be terrified. She knows she should. She knows she should be screaming and crying and in pain and panicking, but she's not. She's crying, yes, but she's crying out of sheer joy. She's wanted this for so long, she wanted to know what his lips would feel like on hers and how he would gently support her face.

It's bliss. It's clear. She loves him. 

He slowly pulls away, still holding her face. He studies her eyes carefully, looking for any sign of panic or sadness or regret.

She knows he sees nothing but her smile.

A smile which he returns with his own giddy, goofy smile. "Rose Tyler, I love you." He says wholeheartedly.

She kisses him again. She may be overstepping some line, but at this point she doesn't care. She loves him. She trusts him. And she'll need help, but she knows she ultimately trusts herself to trust him. She knew from the first day they met. She loves him.   
They stand there embracing each other. It's as if time has frozen and they are the ones in control.

Until she realizes that she's freezing and shivers against her control.

"Cold?" He asks, a smile toying at his lips.

She smirks at herself. "Yeah, a bit."

"Let's go home and give Donna a heart attack, shall we?"

She laughs. "I'd be delighted!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a shorter chapter for you all. I'll be visiting with my family all weekend because my cousin is getting married, so I may or may not be able to write/post chapters. Judging from family visits in the past, I'll either write nothing at all or a ridiculous amount. I also lack internet access, so all writing and posting will be done from my phone, so there may be more mistakes than usual. Nevertheless, enjoy!

It isn't until they finally sit down on the train that Rose realizes how cold and exhausted she is. She sits close to the Doctor, partially for warmth, but mostly because she wants to.

"Blimey Rose, you're freezing" he says as he puts his coat over her.

She pulls it closer. "Better now than I was. How'd you find me anyhow?"

He sighs. "I don't sleep much, and I was up walking around. I heard the door close and went to check on you. By the time I almost caught up with you, you were getting on a train."

"And you hopped on a train to Norway just to come get me?" She asks in disbelief.

"Well, I wasn't going to just let you leave. I was worried. And judging from the scene on the beach, I had a right to be." 

She closes her eyes. "Yeah, I guess you did. I don't think I've ever felt more horrible in my life."

He looks concerned. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She thinks for a moment. Does she? 

"No," Rose decides. "You wouldn't want to hear it anyway. I'm just a mess."

"You can tell me anything. Any time you want. I swear."

She smiles. "I know. I'm sort of scared to talk about it, you know? It's like it'll either make my thoughts sound ridiculous or completely affirm them."

"I understand. I've been there before."

"Doctor?" Rose asks tentatively.

"Hmm?"

"At this point, you've seen a whole lot of what a bloody mess my life is. But I don't know much about yours."

"There's not much to tell, to be honest." He explains indifferently.

"You've travelled, haven't you?"

"I've been all over the place, yes."

"Then tell me about that. Tell me your experiences. You're still a mystery to me."

He laughs. "Oh am I?"

She smiles. "A complete mystery."

"I don't have many interesting stories. It's easier if I show you."

"And how are ya gonna do that?"

"Take you with me, of course. Whenever you'd like." He smiles that giant smile of his that she just can't get enough of.

"Doctor, I don't have any money, have loads of debt, have crazies after me, no mode of transportation, and essentially no belongings. I have literally nothing to offer you."

"Rose, that all the more reason to leave. You'll get to start fresh."

"And you'll get a friend." She squeezes his hand.

He kisses the top of her head. She feels like he wants to ask to be more, but she leaves it for now. No need to rush things. 

"But seriously though, Doctor, I can't go running away from all my problems."

"No, but that's the best option for some of them."

"I'm terrified of going places. I had a panic attack because some people showed up on the beach."

He nods. "Well, that's true, but you did manage to run away to Norway without too much trouble."

"That's a step." She giggles.

He smiles again. "Rose, I think you had a chance to call the shots. We'll go anywhere you want. Take as long as you want. As far as I'm concerned, you deserve a break."

"But what about your job?" 

"You mean our jobs?"

She's taken aback. "Oh. I didn't realize."

"What?" He looks shocked. "Did you think Donna and I would fire you?"

"Well my ex tore a hole in your walk and bled all over your office," she replies flatly.

"Rose, don't you worry about that. Concentrate on yourself for a while. You need to take care of yourself."

She sighs. "I'm not quite sure that I know how."

"Then you've got plenty of help. I'm here for you. So is Donna. We're in it for the long run." His tone is extremely reassuring.

"I'm scared though. There are so many things that could go wrong."

"And so many things that can and will go right."

She nods, feeling the exhaustion creeping up on her. 

"What was it like on that beach for you?" Rose asks, fighting sleep.

"How do you mean?"

She sighs, feeling stupid. "I mean, what happened? I remember walking along the beach and hearing a crowd, but after that it's gets a little fuzzy. Until we argued, at least."

The Doctor swallows hard. "You were walking along the water by yourself. At first I couldn't tell if you were just trying to blow off steam or..." He trails off. "You seemed sort of dazed, so I followed you. I've seen you have panic attacks, Rose, but never one like that."

She nods. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You couldn't help it. It's normal to have panic attacks after all you've been through." He pauses for a moment, as if he wants to add something. Instead, he continues. "I sat with you until you got through it. Sometimes that's all out can do."

"That wasn't it though, was it?" She asks as she turns to look at him.

He clenched his jaw. "No. I couldn't tell what caused the second one though. Not until we started arguing." His eyes are pained.

"Doctor..." She doesn't know what to say.

"Rose, it's okay. Don't worry."

"No," she sighs. "I mean thank you. Thank you for finding me and staying with me. And I promise I'll pay you back for this train ticket."

"Don't worry about it, I've got it."

Rose looks at him, trying desperately to read him. His eyes are pained and she needs to know why. 

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"Rose, I don't--"

"Tell me what you're thinking." Her tone would make the queen of England turn her head.

The Doctor sighs. "You scared me, Rose. I didn't know what you were going to do. You were off all day before you left, and I didn't know what you were going to do."

Her eyes widen. "You thought I was going to kill myself?" 

"I'm a doctor. I've taken a few psychology classes in my time. I recognized the signs." His tone is hard.

She cups his face. "Doctor..."

She wants to tell him she would never do that. That it never crossed her mind. But it did, just not in so many words. She had to get out. She needed everything she knew and loved to be gone. She wants to say that she never thought about it, but she did. And although she can't imagine getting to that point again, she unsure of whether to promise that she won't.

"Doctor, I can't say that it didn't cross my mind. That's not what I set out to do, but I needed to get out. Get away from everything. But I can promise you now that I have no intention of ever getting to that point again. That was a low point. Besides, I have to stick around to go see the world with you, don't I?" She smiles gently.

"You'd better stick around. Because I'm quite fond of you, and I hate you to not be here." He returns the smile.

"I'm quite fond of you as well, actually." 

He squeezes her hand. 

"Is that all you're thinking?" She's got him on a roll. She's reassuring this precious glimpse into his mind.

"I wasn't just scared of losing you. I've never seen a panic attack like that in my life. I didn't know what to do. We were essentially alone on a beach miles away from any sort of help."

"Poor planning on my part, yeah?" She tries to joke but it falls flat.

"Let's just say that I'll be glad when we get you home."

"I really am sorry. I didn't mean for you to come all this way."

He hugs her. "I don't mind at all."

She feels so many questions on the top of her tongue, but as she tries to ask one, she yawns. 

He smiles. "Tired?"

She nods. "Exhausted. But I don't know if I want to sleep."

He pulls her into his arms. It's protective as well as pleasant. 

"Go to sleep, Rose. I'll wake you if anything happens."

She nods reluctantly. If she tried to stay awake she would pass out sooner or later. 

He kisses her hair and mumbles so quietly that it's barely audible. 

"I love you, Rose Tyler."

And with a ridiculous smile on her face, she drifts into a deep sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, it's an even shorter chapter today, but the next two will be longer. I was able to write last night and hopefully I can do the same tonight. Enjoy!

"Rose," a gentle voice whispers in her ear. "Rose, wake up."

She opens her eyes only to see that the train has stopped and people are starting to move toward the door. She tries to snap herself out of the drowsiness, but she was in too deep of a sleep, so she probably looks a bit off kilter.

"How long did I sleep?" She asks as he helps her up.

The Doctor smiles. "Just about the entire train ride, actually. Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have in a very, very long time." She returns the smile. She forgot what it felt like to be well rested.

"I'm glad then," he replies as he takes her hand and they make their way off the train and back to Donna's.

The air is slightly warmer than it was at Bad Wolf Bay, but she's still cold. She walks closer to the Doctor, and he doesn't seem to mind. 

They can hear Donna before they even open the door.

"Where the hell have you been?! Do you think that it's just bloody well alright to take off without any notice? We had no idea what you were doing! You scared the living fuck out of us!" 

Rose just smiles and gives Donna the biggest hug she physically can. "I'm sorry. I just needed to get out for a bit, yeah?"

Donna looks her over carefully. "You alright though?" 

Rose smiles. "Yeah. Yeah I am. I'm better now."

"Good," Donna affirms as she hugs Rose once again. "What happened though?"

Rose takes a deep breath. "Let's just say I got really scared and didn't know what to do. After some panic and arguing, we've got it all sorted out." She smiles at the Doctor, who returns the wide smile. 

"You guys argued?" Donna asks, looking sternly at the Doctor.

He speaks up. "Well, yes. Sort of. We got it sorted. It was more venting than arguing. Airing frustrations at each other and whatnot."

Donna doesn't lighten her stare.

"We're okay though! We're more than okay!" Rose continues. 

Donna looks less stern and more like she wants to know their secret.

Donna is Rose's friend. She wants to tell her. She feels like a school girl who can't wait to tell her friend the latest juicy gossip. But she's unsure if she should tell just yet. 

"Absolutely. Never better!" The Doctor says cheerfully.

Donna eventually relaxes. "Fine. As long as you're okay. And you promise not to run off to bloody Norway again! You nearly gave us heart attacks!"

"I promise I won't. I don't think that I'll be doing anything of the sort for a very long time."

"Good. Now you look like you've been through hell and took an ice bath right after. Go take a warm shower and I'll make you some food." 

"Thanks Donna." She smiles and flashes a slight extra smile at the Doctor and heads toward her bathroom slowly, as she hears Donna start to talk.

"What's with that grin on your face, Spaceman?" 

"What?" The Doctor sounds genuinely confused. Then Rose hears a whack.

"I'm not blind you got! What happened?"

"Well..."

"What did you do?!"

"Nothing! We just sort of..." He starts to mumble. And talk very quickly. She can barely make out what he says. "Kissed and told each other we love each other."

"YOU WHAT?!"

Rose hears a slap, but she can tell Donna isn't really mad. She laughs to herself.

"Ow! What? She said it first and clearly I agreed otherwise I wouldn't have followed her to Norway!"

"You git! You bloody git! But good for you! Oh you're such a Spaceman!"

Rose can't hold her laugh in anymore. She's sure they hear her as she heads to finally take her shower.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been a week since Bad Wolf Bay, and Rose was feeling better. She was happy, and that was something that she hadn't felt in a very long time. The Doctor liked to stick around. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought that he lived with Donna. He essentially does now. Just like she does.

She still feels bad about mooching so much off of Donna. She can't even live alone with Lee, and even though this relationship is new to Rose, she can't imagine not being able to have time alone with the Doctor.

"Rose?" Donna asks, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yeah?" Rose replies, shaking her head out of her daze.

"I got a call the other day. Apparently Jimmy is up for trial this week, and they need you to come in and testify." She's cautious as she speaks.

Rose tenses and takes a deep breath. "If I testify, chances are he'll get a longer sentence, right?"

"Probably," replies Donna. "I'm sorry Rose, but it sounds like they aren't giving you much of a choice."

Rose puts her face in her hands. She's just so tired and so ready for all of this to be over.

"When is it?" She asks, her voice muffled through her hands.

"Day after tomorrow. But you can always reschedule."

"No," Rose says a little too quickly. "I want this done with. I'm done. I'm tired and I want that shit bag locked up forever."

Donna nods. "John and I will come with you. They want our testimonies too."

"Should I hire a lawyer or something?"

"I don't know. My case was a full trial with a jury and everything. I this yours will be heard without a jury, but still by a judge. Like some sort of mediation session."

Rose's head shoots up. "I have to be in the same room with him?"

"Other people will be there, but yes."

Rose breaks into a cold sweat. She maintains composure, but she wants to scream.

"Okay. That's okay. I'm okay. I'll say what I need to say then he can go fuck himself in hell."

Rose gets up and heads toward her room. 

"Rose!" Donna calls after her. 

Somewhere in the back of Rose's panic stricken mind, memories of Donna's concern resurface.

"I'm fine Donna, I'll just be in my room!" She tries to maintain composure, but it ends up being shaky.

She sprints up the stairs and into her room. 

She can't breathe. 

She shuts the door, but doesn't lock it. She needs to get herself through this. She has to learn how to coach herself.

She goes to sit on the edge of her bed, but instead falls on to it. Her hands and feet are numb. Her skin is ice cold. She can't breathe.

She inhales and inhales and inhales but she can't seem to get the oxygen she desperately needs. Sounds and sights are fading, but she thinks she hears footsteps. 

She feels the carpet beneath her as she tumbles to the ground. She just closes her eyes and tries to count, but nothing seems to be working. 

Everything goes black.

\------

Rose wakes up a short while later on her bed and wrapped in a blanket. 

She sits up carefully, checking to make sure she is breathing properly.

"You alright, Rose?" Donna asks.

Rose sighs. "Yeah, sorry. I'm trying to coach myself out of those things, you know?"

Donna smiles slightly, moving the hair from Rose's face. "Yeah, I do. It gets easier, I promise. But it gets easier faster when you let people help you through them."

Rose smiles. "There is quite a difference. Who helped you?"

"Mainly my grandad. He's a really wonderful man."

"I bet he is." Rose smiles. "I'm surprised I haven't met him. I practically live here."

"You can live here for as long as you want! He's actually been off travelling. He helps my mum a lot and she gave him some time off."

"I'd like to meet him one day."

"Hopefully you will! He should be coming back soon."

"Donna?" Rose asks after a few moments. "How exactly is this whole trial gonna go? How can we be sure Jimmy won't go on a rampage?"

"The Doctor will be there."

Rose laughs. "Excellent point. But seriously are there guards or something? Or is he unconscious?"

"They should have guards. Hopefully you both will at least be on separate sides of the room."

Rose takes a deep breath. "Day after tomorrow, yeah? I can do this."

"I know you can."

\------

Finally, Rose has her life back together. She's been travelling with the Doctor, they're in love, and they're ready to face the world.

Rose is packing for their next trip at their flat when she heard a knock on the door. 

She peers through the peephole only to see the face of Jimmy Stone.

"Hello, Rosie." He says menacingly. "I think we have some catching up to do."

Rose shrieks and jumps back as he starts breaking in. 

She can't run anywhere, unless she wants to jump from the third story.

"Here I am!" He yells as he breaks in.

She shrieks again, sitting up in her bed.

The room is pitch black and it takes her a moment to catch her bearings. Her heart is racing.

She lies down again, trying to level her emotions.

Rose hears footsteps pass her room. Whoever is up and walking around didn't hear her. Good.

She pulls on a thin robe and gingerly steps out to investigate. She soon realizes that it's the Doctor when the light from a window catches him just right. She follows him.

Donna's house is quite large, so Rose is walking for a while. Finally she sees him go out to her favorite balcony. It's the one with the best view of the sky.

She quietly steps out next to him.

"Doctor?"

He doesn't seem startled, but he turns quickly to see who's with him. 

"Rose? What are you doing out of bed?" He sounds concerned.

"Bad dream. Nerves about tomorrow I guess." She replies nonchalantly.

His hand reaches for hers and she gladly takes it.

"What are you doing up?" Rose asks curiously.

"I don't sleep much. Never have. Sometimes I just wander around. Look at the stars."

"It's a bit cold for that tonight, isn't it?" She asks as she hugs her robe tighter to her skin.

He smiles. "Not if you've got someone to hold." 

He pulls her closer as they stare up at the sky.

"Do you want to talk about your dream?"

"Not really. Just your average run of the mill terrified of my ex dream. It made me not want to live alone for a while though."

He hugs her close. "I promise, he will never hurt you again. Not as long as I'm around."

She smiles into his chest. "Thank you, Doctor. I'm done with him. I just want that part of my life to be over."

"Oh, it will. After tomorrow it'll all be a memory." His voice is factual and soothing.

Despite the closeness, she still shivers.

"Want to go back inside and back to bed?"

"Bed? No. Inside? Maybe." She smiles.

He leads her inside toward the couch in the cinema room. He sits down and welcomes her to join him. 

"Since you don't want to sleep, would you like to watch a movie?" He asks with a smile. "A movie night seemed to do the trick last time you had a nightmare that kept you up."

She smiles. "Yes, but you have to pick this time."

"Now now, that's not fair. There are far too many movies to choose from." A smile is toying at his lips as he attempts to keep a stern expression.

"Ha! Now you know how I felt last time!" She says, poking his side.

"Fine! Close your eyes."

Trusting him, she obliges. He shuffles around for a few minutes, and from behind her eyelids she can see the screen light up.

"Okay, open."

The title screen for Monsters Inc flashes across the television.

She laughs. "So I guess I'm not the only one who likes Pixar, am I?"

"Now, there no need to go around telling the whole world." He can't keep his smile at bay any longer.

She laughs again as they both settle into their positions on the couch. As she starts to get drowsy, Rose feels the Doctor's arms wrap protectively around her. 

She smiles and mumbles "I love you Doctor."

Faintly she hears a whisper in her ear. "I love you."

Their breathing rates slowly synchronize as they both fall asleep together.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I have absolutely no idea how the court system works in Britain, so please forgive me for errors. I had a specific direction that I wanted this to go, so I essentially had the screw the research and just write. Also, I'm having a bit of trouble deciding where I want this whole story to go. It's a sort of writer's block. Anyway, I'm in the midst of deciding if I should end it in the next few chapters, end it and write a sequel, or just keep writing. I have a few more chapters written, and I'm going to write another tonight, but that's where I am with this story. I don't want to let them go, and I don't want to stop writing, but the story feels like it's wrapping itself up.

Sunlight hits Rose's face the next morning as she wakes up from a dreamless sleep. She feels a weight on top of her chest and opens her eyes only to find the Doctor's arms hugged snuggly around her. She smiles as she watches his chest move slowly up and down.

For a man who didn't sleep very much, he looked pretty peaceful.

Suddenly, she realizes what day it is, and what she has to do. She takes a deep breath, trying to put it out of her mind. Her wounds had finally healed, she had finally found happiness, and now all of the scars were about to be reopened.

She watches the Doctor closely, relishing the moment. He looked so at ease. She felt at ease with him. She doesn't want to move from this spot for a very long time. 

His warmth is comforting. She huddles closer to him, trying to avoid the coolness of the morning. 

Rose loves the Doctor.

She wants to wake up next to him like this every morning. She's comfortable and unafraid, something she hasn't been in an very, very long time.

Soon, she hears footsteps down the hall.

"Rose?" Donna calls quietly as to not wake the entire house.

She appears in the doorway and Rose slowly puts a finger to her lips. She smiles and motions toward the Doctor.

Donna smiles and rolls her eyes. "You two had better get up soon. We have to leave in a couple of hours."

Rose nods. "Don't worry, I've got this."

They smile at each other and Donna leaves them to their relaxing.

It isn't until Rose shifts to bury her face in his chest that he wakes up. She did try to do it gently.

"Morning sleepy head," the Doctor says with a smile. "I see the movie helped."

She smiles back. "Yeah, but the sun sure didn't. Woke me up."

"Better that than Donna."

Rose laughs. "She came in earlier, but I was already up."

"I know," he says with a smile. "I woke up when she called your name."

She flicks his nose. "Then why'd you let me stare at you?" She's sort of embarrassed now.

"You seemed very peaceful and rested. And happy. I didn't want to spoil it."

Rose smiles. "Well thank you, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome! Now I suppose we should both get up, shouldn't we?"

"I don't want to. I like how we are now."

"I do too, but I don't like Donna yelling at us."

Rose laughs. "Excellent point."

"Come on. Up we go," he says as he sits them both up at the same time. "That wasn't so bad now was it?"

Rose laughs. "How smooth of you, Doctor."

"Well, I try my best." He replies with a wink.

\------

He holds her hand the entire way there. She's sure he can sense her fear. She's not sure if she's ready for this, but she's sure she's ready to wash her hands of the whole situation. 

All three of them walk into the courthouse and walk through the long corridors to find the correct room. 

The Doctor let go of her hand when they got out of the car, which may be for the best. She doesn't want this trial getting any more complicated than it already is. 

It's set up like a full court room, but there's no place for a jury or an audience, just a few seats off to either side.

There he is. That God awful bastard that she could just murder now. 

Jimmy stares at her. He's angry.

"Shall we begin?" The judge asks, even though it's more of a statement than an actual question.

There's one guard. There is one guard standing between Jimmy and Rose. Only one. Her heart starts to race.

"Rose Tyler, you may submit your testimony." The judge states.

Rose slowly gets up and moves toward the stand. She hopes to god no one can see how badly she's shaking.

"I see you're accusing Mr. Stone of battery, rape, and assault."

"Yes." Rose speaks cautiously.

"Can you describe your relationship with Mr. Stone?"

"He's my ex boyfriend. It was a toxic, and dangerous relationship." Her voice is level.

"Can you describe some of the instances of attack that you have endured by Mr. Stone?"

She doesn't want to go into detail. She doesn't want to go into detail at all. "Do you have my testimony with the police on record?"

The judge shuffles through some papers. "Yes we do."

"The majority of the details were shared at that time. He beat me, raped me, caused a pregnancy which has since been terminated, and refused me medical treatment when it was necessary." Her statement is clear, no tint of emotion. She spares no look at Jimmy.

"Can you describe the rape for me first?"

"Which instance would you like me to start with?" She doesn't nowadays coming over her. Is that sass in her voice? 

"The first, please." 

"We had been dating for about eight months. We had been living together for two. He came home drunk and I hadn't made dinner for him yet. He got mad, beat me, and then asked for sex. I clearly said no, but I guess to him, 'no, you've beaten me too hard and I can barely move' means 'yes, please have sex with me.' I screamed but no one came to help. Everyone around knew he was trouble, just as I should have. He continues to beat me during and after, trying to get me to shut up."

"How did he beat you?"

"He would mostly just hit me. It wasn't until we had been dating for a year that he started using other objects."

"For beating or rape?"

She swallows. "Both."

"Can you describe some of the beatings?"

"Which ones? The ones when he would hit me until I passed out, or the ones where he took kitchen knives and cigarettes and burned and sliced my body?"

"Miss Tyler," the judge starts.

"He could have killed me. And I struggle with that every day. I have flashbacks and night terrors and I can barely walk out into the street without having a panic attack because of that man."

She snakes the mistake of glancing at him. He's snickering. 

"Miss Tyler, do you have proof of these beatings?"

"Want proof? Here you go." She says sharply as she approaches the judge and rolls up her sleeve to reveal the just healed burns and cuts and left over bruises. "I've got a few medical records too, if you'd like."

"We've got them on file, Miss Tyler."

Rose resumes her place at the stand. She feels as though she's about to cry.

"Thank you Miss Tyler. Please have a seat," the judge says. "James Stone, you may submit your testimony." The judge motions for Jimmy to take the stand.

Jimmy clears his throat and assumes the face of an innocent man. She could kill him.

"Mr. Stone, have you ever beaten Miss Tyler?"

"Never on purpose. Most of the time it was accidental."

"Bullshit." Rose mumbles under her breath.

"As I was saying, I never beat her on purpose. And I never raped her. I only did what she wanted and deserved." Jimmy has a smug look on his face.

"Can you elaborate?"

"Well, when she dropped that first plate, I didn't mean to hit her. I was merely reaching for the dustpan to clean it up when her face got in the way. And I never raped her. She always said yes at some point."

"After you beat me half to death!" Rose shouts, unable to control herself.

"Miss Tyler, please." The judge says.

"Oh, come on Rosie, you know you wanted it! You've always wanted it! You begged me for the knives and the cigarettes! Hell, if it wasn't for that job, we probably wouldn't even be here right now."

"I probably would be dead." She replies coldly.

"You just can't take the stuff you ask for, Rosie! It's not my fault if things get a little out of hand!"

"Shut up! Shut up you fucking bastard!"

"Don't you dare tell me what to do you little bitch, you're costing me thousands in legal fees!"

"Fuck you! Fuck your money! You only spent it on your drugs and alcohol! I was the one who paid for everything! I've got loads of debt because of you!"

"Rosie, you know that was your own fault. I told you to get a job."

"You told me to quit my job! I quit school and my job for you! I barely ever saw the light of day! And even when I thought I could, it turns out I couldn't because I didn't have enough fucking makeup to cover all the injuries you caused me!"

"Oh, come now Rosie, you liked it. You liked every last bit of it."

"Do you think I liked bleeding all over the shower? Do you think I liked having your godforsaken sperm shoved into me? Do you think I like having panic attacks every day?"

"We both know you craved the nurturing I gave you, just like the little homesick bitch that you are. Don't let your daddy issues get in the way of this court case. Actually, don't let your pea brained mind do anything at all. I've got this covered for you. Then we can both go home and have a nice shag, alright?"

She steps back. She's silent. She's frozen. She wants to cry and scream all at the same time. But she can't. Her heart is racing. He's going to kill her. He's going to get her and kill her.

The Doctor takes her hand silently. She squeezes it as hard as she can.

Suddenly, Jimmy's booming voice sounds around the room. 

"I KNEW IT YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING CHEATING ON ME!" He's screaming at her as he lunges across the room at her.

He's too fast for anyone to properly react. He pins her up against the wall by the neck.

"Rose!" The Doctor shouts.

Everything happens so fast. She can't breathe. This is it. One more burst of courage and this can all be over. 

Amongst the flurry of noises around her, time seems to stand still. In a split second, she bring her knee up with all her strength. She makes contact, and sees his eyes go wide. She hits again before he has time to react. And a third time right to the babymakers for good measure.

Jimmy yells and collapses to the ground, bringing Rose with him. He doesn't loosen his grip, but it's not long before the Doctor is right on top of him, forcing his hand away. 

"Doctor!" She tries to yell, but nothing comes out. She has to get him away from Jimmy before he does something he regrets.

The Doctor and the guard drag Jimmy away from Rose. Just as the Doctor is about to deliver a blow that will most certainly end everything, Rose barely touches his leg. It's enough to get his attention away from Jimmy and let the guard do his work. 

The Doctor seems to snap out of his rage. "Rose!"

"Doctor!" She still can't speak, and can barely breathe. 

"Rose, Rose. Look at me. It's okay. Everything's okay. Try to take a deep breath. Slowly."

She tries to do so, but ends up coughing. Each time she coughs, she inhales. Soon, she's breathing. Terrified, but breathing. Her eyes dart around the room, looking for where Jimmy will next attack from. 

"Rose, it's alright. Focus on me. Only on me. No one's going to touch you. I promise." 

She grabs his hand and smiles in between coughing fits.

He smiles a small smile. "Okay, no one except me." He tightens his grip on her hand.

She nods fervently. 

Everything happens in a haze. Rose sits up with the help of the Doctor and is led out of the room by Donna and another guard. They sit her on a bench, and is offered water.

She takes a few sips, they hurt to swallow, but soothe the soreness caused by the coughing. "Thanks." She manages to croak out.

"Rose, we can go home now. That little outburst pretty much sealed the deal for the judge." Donna explains. "We still have to submit written testimonies and things, but those will prolong his already very long sentence."

Rose smiles, unsure of what to say. She just knows that she desperately wants to go home. 

Someone seems to sense this and the Doctor puts an arm around her and kisses her head as they leave the courthouse. "I'm so proud you you. You're brilliant."

Rose turns around and hugs him.


	14. Chapter 14

The drive home is long and silent. Rose lies against the Doctor as he holds his arms around her. She feels like it's just the two of them. She would enjoy it more if her mind would stop racing.

She's scared. She forgot how scared she's always been until today. She feels safer at Donna's, but she can't stay there forever. Rose needs her own life at some point. She's scared of starting one, though.

She's ecstatic. She finally defended herself. She finally stood up to Jimmy. Rose was finally able to give him a taste of the pain that she had endured for all that time.

But she's angry. She's so, so angry. She's angry that she's weak. She's angry she ever let this happen. She could have done so much more, but didn't. She didn't hear the sentence, she has no idea when she'll have to defend herself again, and she's weak. Rose was weak for letting this all happen in the first place.

She feels like she could scream.

At first, she buries her face in the Doctor's chest, trying to cancel out the noises of her mind. Her heart is racing, but she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't feel panicky, Rose is just incredibly angry. 

She sighs and squeezes her eyes. 

"Are you okay?" The Doctor asks quietly in her ear.

Rose thinks for a moment.

"No." Her voice is calm. It's not angry or frightened or upset. 

He strokes her back softly. It helps, but Rose is too worked up to calm down like she hopes she would in other circumstances.

They finally arrive back at the house, but Rose barely notices.

"Rose, we're here" the Doctor states, just as quietly as before.

Rose sits up and gets out of the car. It's almost as if she's just going through the motions. The Doctor takes her hand and leads her inside.

She feels like she's about to burst. She doesn't know what to do. 

Everyone seems to be on edge around her. They don't want to set her off, but they're concerned. 

"Rose?" Donna asks cautiously. "Do you want to talk about this?"

"No, actually, I don't!" She snaps. "I don't want to talk about how weak I was to let that happen! I don't want to talk about the fact that I was too stupid to fight back all my life! I don't want to talk about how I could have majority screwed up both of your lives by having you come with me!"

"Rose, none of this is your fault--" the Doctor starts.

"Shut up! No! Don't you see? All of this is my fault! I could have gotten you landed in prison for assaulting some bastard that assaulted me! I dragged you into this mess and for some strange reason, you seem to want to stick around! And look where that got you. It could have gotten you arrested. I love you. I love having you with me. But I can't let that continue if you're going to get into trouble because of me!"

"Rose, listen to me," the Doctor says, stepping over to her. "Nothing will happen to me. I would never do anything that would put you in jeaprody, I--"

"Don't you get it? That's not what I'm worried about! I'm worried about you! I want you safe and I feel like the only way I can do that is to distance myself!"

"Rose. I will always be okay. I care about you. I would never do anything that would hurt you. That includes keeping myself out of trouble. I love you. I plan on sticking around."

His eyes are honest. She closes her.

"But I can't do anything. You know probably better than anyone. I'm good for absolutely nothing! I can't defend myself, I can't stand up to him, I can't even fucking go outside!"

He takes her hands. "Nothing that you just said was true. Do you know what just happened back there? Jimmy had to be dragged out of the room by a guard because you fought for yourself. He got time in prison because of your testimony. You talked about it. You accused him and he cracked under the pressure. You showed him that you're absolutely brilliant and that he will never, ever get next to the likes of you again. You showed everyone in that courtroom that Rose Tyler knows how to take care of herself. You showed everyone that no one can ever mess with you again. Do you have any idea how incredible that is? You, Rose Tyler, are so brilliant that no one can even come close."

Her mouth drops open as she tries to rebuttal his argument. 

"He's right, you know." Donna chimes in.

Rose closes her mouth and takes a deep breath. "I still let him get to me." Her tone is harsh and unforgiving.

"Rose, you're not made of rock. Some things are bound to get to you. It's okay. That's why you have friends."

She looks away, unsure of what to say. Really all she wants to do is cry, but she's done so much of that recently and she doesn't want to show her weakness again. She sits down and puts her face in her arms. 

The Doctor sits next to her, holding her hand. 

Eventually she gives up and lets the tears flow.

She looks up, and the Doctor immediately pulls her into a hug.

"Thank you, Doctor." Rose says quietly.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally finished writing this. I'm still debating about a sequel, mainly because I just don't want to let this story go. I want to thank you all for reading this! Please enjoy the last chapter!

Rose couldn't describe how she felt to anyone who asked. She wasn't even quite sure what she was feeling. She wants to get on with her life so badly, but she doesn't know how.

The Doctor is really the only one she feels she can talk to. He understands the need to be on the move. He understands where she's coming from. He wants what's best for her.

It's now or never, she decides. It's time to start fresh.

Rose slowly makes her way toward the Doctor's temporary room. The worst he can say is no.

"Doctor?" She asks almost timidly.

"Rose! I was just about to look for you!" He says excitedly. "Look what I found!"

He motions for her to look at his computer. She sits next to him on the bed. 

"Now, you said you wanted to go some place warm, right? Well there's this series of waterfalls in South America that look absolutely fantastic! One flows into another and you can cliff dive and swim around. It's lovely, Rose. It's a bit of a hike, but it looks well worth it!"

She smiles widely. She loves it when he gets excited like this. "Okay. Let's go."

He smiles. "Shall I add it to the list?"

"Nope. Let's go. No need to put it on the list." She's still smiling.

"When?" He asks, even though he's catching her drift.

"Whenever you're ready. I'm done with all this. Time to get my life back together. What better way than travelling the world, huh?"

He kisses her. "Rose Tyler, you are brilliant!"

"Shut up." She laughs.

\------

The Doctor makes the travel arrangements as Rose packs. She's not sure when they're technically leaving, but she's eager. She wants to he ready at a moments notice.

"Where do you think you're going?" Donna stops to ask.

"South America, apparently." Rose replies with a smile. "I finally decided to do it. I had to take a step sometime, right?"

"Rose, are you sure about this? That's a pretty big step to take right off the bat." Donna says cautiously.

"Donna, you and I both know I can't live here forever. I'm ridiculously grateful for everything you've done, but I have to let you live your life again."

"Are you going with the Doctor?"

"Yup." 

"There's no stopping you is there?"

"Nope."

Donna smiles. "I'm not sure I would, even if I could. But you'd better come back to visit. And call your mum once in a while. She's called me more times than I can count."

Rose laughs. "I'll call her."

"And you know that you can always come back, right? There's always room for you here. No matter what happens."

Rose hugs Donna. "I know. Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

\------

A few days later, all the plans are set. They'll fly to South America and see where they end up from there. Nothing is set in stone, and she likes it that way. Everything unpredictable.

Rose has said her goodbyes to everyone, and is glad to be getting out of the country. She may still be terrified, but somehow going to a completely different place with no real plan and the man she loves makes her feel just a little bit better.

"Ready, Rose?" The Doctor asks.

She smiles. "Absolutely."

He takes her hand. "Allons-y!" He says with a smile. 

She grasps his hand tightly, knowing what's ahead. The first part of the trip will be the worst. She just need to get over that hump.

The ride to the airport is uneventful, thankfully. No panic attacks or nervous breakdowns. 

It's once they pull up to the terminal that everything starts to set it. She knows what happens to people who have breakdowns in airports. They have to stay.

She feels it coming on. She feels it rising inside her.

She takes the Doctor's hand and whispers in his ear before they get out of the car. "Help me."

She's sure no one else can hear. The Doctor nods subtly and entwines his fingers in hers.

The Doctor helps Rose out of the car and keeps her close. They each only have one suitcase, so they go straight through. 

They're standing in line for security when her eyes begin to dart from person to person frantically. Her breathing and heart race.

The Doctor puts an arm around her. "Rose." He says calmly into her ear.

It catches her attention.

"Rose, I'm right here. I promise I won't leave you."

She nods, but her heart is still racing.

"Remember when we went to the planetarium?" He asks quietly.

"Yeah, both times. It was fantastic." She says, a small smile creeping into her voice, despite her panic.

"Remember how I said there was a flat up there that no one is using?"

She nods, unsure of where this is going. Curiosity is growing within her as the panic fades.

"How would you like it if we clean it out whenever we come back. It's yours if you want it." He says with a smile.

"There can't be any way I can afford that." She says, disappointed.

"Don't worry about that. It's yours. It's unlisted, so only the people you want to find you can. It's beautiful. Not very large, but functional." 

"There has to be some sort of catch. It sounds too good to be true."

"Well, you would have to do some work for the university, but never anything too bad. You'd just have to warm up the planetarium every now and again. Watch the stars and make sure everything works correctly."

"And what if it doesn't?"

"Call someone to fix it."

"That sounds like a terribly lonely job," she says smiling. "Watching all those stars by myself."

"Well, I could always help. I don't mind." 

She hugs him. "I would love that, Doctor. Thank you."

"Well, since you needed a place to live, I though I might pull a few strings. I also wanted to make you feel comfortable there."

"I would love to live there." Rose says with an incredibly large smile.

The Doctor smiles back and motions for her to look forward. She's right at the front of the security line.

Rose takes a deep breath and follows through with all of the procedures.

When they're both done, she hugs him. She got through the first of probably many battles to come.

They make their way through the airport quickly and efficiently. Before too long, they're waiting at the gate. Rose has made a habit of scanning her surroundings, and she freezes when she sees a familiar face.

"What is it?" The Doctor asks.

"Nothing," she says. "Just one of Jimmy's friends." She puts her head on his shoulder.

"You okay?"

She thinks for a moment. "Yeah. If we lay low there shouldn't be a problem. I'm probably making everything worse than it is."

The Doctor nods and keeps a look out.

Rose sees the large man walk by them. She doesn't move her head, but she follows his every move.

He's tall and well dressed, which is a change from most of Jimmy's friends. She's never talked to him, but she remembers Jimmy talking about him. His name is Max Capricorn. 

He walks by without seeming to notice them. Rose is thankful, but the Doctor is still alert. Right as he's about to turn the corner, Max and Rose make eye contact.

She stares in his direction even after he leaves. 

Once they're called to board the plane, she snaps out of it. 

"Sorry." She apologizes to the Doctor.

"For what?" He asks, his brow furrowed.

"For not being a normal human being and relaxing."

"Rose, it's alright. You don't have to apologize."

She shrugs, still feeling as though she has to.

"Let's just go, yeah? Let's have an adventure." She says with a smile.

"Allons-y!" His smile matches hers.

They board the large blue plane and head off on the first of their many adventures hand in hand.


End file.
